


Sudden Expectancy

by Platonic_Ideals



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Chaos Theory, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Pocket Dimension, Slow Burn, hearts and hooves day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:49:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29429100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Platonic_Ideals/pseuds/Platonic_Ideals
Summary: It's another Hearts and Hooves Day and Rarity is sadly single again. But, as luck would have it, so is Discord. Due to circumstances far out of Rarity's control, she's about to have an opportunity to have the most chaotic Hearts and Hooves Day ever.
Relationships: Rarity/Discord (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so popping in. This story was actually written in 2014 and was posted elsewhere, I'm just moving it to this site. I happened to fall in love with this pairing as I wrote this. I only wish more people enjoyed the pair, oh well. Just keep in mind that the final season of the show wasn't considered for this story at all. Also Happy Valentine's Day 2021!

Evening dances were so quintessentially Hearts and Hooves Day that naturally Rarity had been beside herself when Mayor Mare had asked her to assist with Ponyville's very first Couples' Prance. Rarity wanted it to be more than just a night to remember, but a night of love, mystery and rekindled romances. Pairs of ponies taking to the floor entwined in passion for one another whisked away in a fairytale of some enchanted evening. For Ponyville, this was a chance for Rarity to give the gift of romance back to every couple; a chance to share in their delight.

Rarity sighed at the thought of, perhaps, a mare finding that oh-so-special somepony tonight. Maybe that mare was just somepony who had merely been there to help. Rarity was caught up in an adventure as if in a narrative; a love story.

Her imagination painted pictures of how that evening was going to play out.

The mare's eyes would lock with the stallion's and, from that moment forth, the two would be swept away by the mere presence of each other's gaze. He would slowly stride toward her as if unaware of any other pony in the room. Her heart would feel like it was flying, her hooves itching for their first dance. The two meet face to face in the center of the dance floor, the lights dim for a romantic ballet.

Rarity was just about ready to resign herself to her daydream when a crash came from across the city hall auditorium. Rarity turned about quickly to see the entire food table toppled. Luckily there hadn't been anything on it yet. Still, the disturbance of it all was enough to try any lady's patience.

As one would readily expect, Rarity hadn't been asked to plan this party alone. Pinkie Pie was the ultimate authority when it came to parties, and Rarity initially wasn't mad about that. In fact, she was more than willing to work with Pinkie on this project . . . but Pinkie had a bad habit of including her friends in Everything. Which, not to be misunderstood, wasn't a bad trait to have, but Rarity would have much preferred that just she and Pinkie tackle this event instead of having their less than party fluent companions constantly derailing the process.

"Opps," Applejack was pulling a large wagon of hay into the auditorium; not only uncouth but horribly misappropriated for this kind of party.

"Applejack?" Rarity wasn't trying to sound accusatory. "Why are you bringing _that_ in here?"

"Well, Pinkie said she was still tryin' to find a few party activities. All romantic like of course, and I just happen to know nothin's quite as romantic as a hayride under the stars."

Rarity could feel her pulse increase for a moment, but a breath through pursed lips helped to calm that.

"Yes, that could be . . . nice; Outside! You can't have that thing in here, you're tipping over everything!"

"I'm not stupid, Rarity. I wasn't plannin' on giving' rides in here; just pickin' up the couples. I was thinkin' Big Mac could pull 'em out front for a while. . ."

"No, no, no! This is not that kind of event!"

It was then Pinkie must have overheard Rarity's complaints; she was beside them before Rarity had the time to note where she had come from.

"A hayride would be super-duper fun!"

"And 'super-duper' uncharacteristic of a party of this caliber," Rarity felt a tinge guilty from the looks her friends were giving her, but a hayride wouldn't do. "Please, trust me on this one, Pinkie Pie."

"Rarity does know more about romantic stuff." Pinkie grinned to the now annoyed Applejack.

"I wish y'all would tell us exactly what y'all want so I wouldn't of wasted my time bringin' this here."

Applejack thankfully took the accursed wagon out of the building. Rarity levitated the table back to its upright position; Pinkie taking the moment to retrieve a white tablecloth from a nearby box and draping it over the surface.

"I love this color scheme!" Pinkie bounced about leading Rarity to the center of the room to see it all. "White, silver and pink! Great choices, Rarity!"

"With a hint of red in the accents. Oh but Pinkie, I must admit I adore the little heart-shaped balloons you've added." Rarity scanned the room.

The whole auditorium had been cleared mostly for a dance floor, but the chairs and tables against the walls had been so elegantly arranged. Flowers, crystal vases, beautiful lace table coverings, polished dishes, candles! Lavish curtains hung with bright ribbons over every window dimming the room to a rather romantic light. And a large banner spanned over the door with . . . a large flaming heart?

"Pinkie, what is that?"

The pink mare moved her eyes in the direction of the banner before grinning widely.

"That's Dashie's idea!"

Rarity didn't have a chance to complain, for in that moment Princess Twilight entered the hall and levitated all the decorations off of every table; Spike carrying a large stack of rolled cloth napkins behind her.

"Twilight!" Rarity felt her heart pounding again. "What are you doing? Pinkie and I spent all morning-"

"I have given Pinkie all the wrong tableware," Twilight paced the room quickly, Rarity and Pinkie nearly at a jogging pace to keep up. "I had thought that maybe I had given her too many dessert forks, but it turns out there are dessert plates I missed. These are all wrong!"

"Oh darling, is that all?" Rarity trotted in front of the princess to slow her hurried pace. "Pinkie and I already noticed that. We figured you ran out of plates and have made due with a rather appealing arrangement of-"

"Don't worry about it, Rarity," Twilight began rearranging plates at an alarming rate. "I'll figure out something that works even better without having to use plates incorrectly."

Both Rarity and Pinkie dodged the 100 or so incoming plates of varying sizes and colors. Even Pinkie was growing concerned at the amazing amount of new dishes.

"Twilight, it's really okay." Pinkie grabbed onto one of the floating plates and was carried off with it to another table.

"No, really Twilight. Don't do this." Rarity frowned as her pleas fell on deaf ears. Twilight was in one of her obsessive moods again.

Rarity was forced to step back from the mad rearranging taking place. Rarity didn't know what to do and, when trying to get the attention of the other party planner in the room, found that Pinkie was either too high or zipping by too fast to hear what she had to say.

Rarity felt a blush overtake her face as her anger rose. Before her emotions fully overtook her, Rarity felt a small, clawed hand touch her shoulder. She looked down to see Spike offering a consoling smile.

"Twilight's just trying to make it perfect for ya, she'll make it look nice, don't worry."

"Thank you, Spike. But . . . I really want this event to be better than just nice. It feels like no pony else really cares."

A familiar voice entered the auditorium and Rarity put her attention back at the door. Applejack was back and this time with the Cakes. Carrot Cake was toting a small wagon of cupcakes and cookies for the food table while Cupcake held the twins on her back. From where Rarity stood, the group didn't look very happy with each other. The apple farmer had brought her hayride cart back too! Perfect.

"Pinkie Pie!" Applejack's voice bellowed throughout the space startling the twins. Both young foals glanced around the space with wide eyes. Another loud noise might just cause them to-

"I thought you had asked the Apple's to carter this here event!"

\- cry.

And cry the twins did. Cupcake glared at Applejack. The embarrassed farmer dropped her eyes and backed away from the distraught family.

Glancing up, Rarity could see Pinkie was still struggling with Twilight, calling out to her every now and again to stop mixing up the color scheme. It would appear Rarity would have to take it upon herself to handle Pinkie's overbooking.

"Excuse me, Applejack?" Rarity put herself directly between the Cakes and the one Apple. "I thought I asked you to take that wagon home."

"And I was, but then I passed the Cakes here and saw 'em bringin' the food for the dance. Pinkie asked me to bring some just before the dance started."

It didn't sound very proper of Pinkie to have made this kind of mistake, her throwing parties as frequently as she did. Unless . . .

"Granny Smith's already got half that order done and we can't put apples back on trees, Rarity."

"Are you sure she asked you to bring the desserts? Pinkie mentioned having the sweets and main dish catered separately."

"Nah, I'm sure she would have made that clear . . . Mr. and Mrs. Cake are you sure of what Pinkie told y'all to bring?"

Rarity sighed heavily; there wasn't going to be a dinner, she could just feel it. There was no way Pinkie would have asked bakers to bring a main dish; what in Equestria was Applejack thinking. Rarity closed her eyes and took a deep breath. No need to get all swept up in pointless arguments, she would just explain to both caterers that a mistake had taken place. Once a calmer attitude was assured, Rarity turned to face the small and whiny group in front of her. Unfortunately, she wasn't given an opportunity to address them.

A large punch bowl flew by scooping Rarity away from the conversation she was trying to have. She let out a quick shriek as the bowl hosted her high above the floor. For a split second Rarity was at Pinkie's level.

"Pinkie, dear, the caterers are fighting over what they were supposed to bring."

"Twilight!" Pinkie held one hoof to Rarity to pause and placed another on her tail which seemed to develop the same twitch Rarity's left eye had. "This One's Chipped!" Pinkie gestured to the plate she was standing on hoping the alicorn saw. "Okay, what did you want, Rarity?" And just like that, Pinkie fell with the plate all the way down to Twilight's eye level.

Rarity took a seat in her bowl and looked down on the madness below just in time to watch Rainbow Dash swoop in with yet another poorly hoof-painted banner of flaming hearts. All red hearts of course because that perfectly oversaturated her color scheme. And, that hay wagon finally tipped over another table. Of course, it was the one Twilight had just finished arranging . . .

"Why don't we just burn city hall down," Rarity vented to herself. "Can't look any worse than this."

Suddenly a light tapping came from the window. Rarity looked up to see Fluttershy was . . . hovering upside-down outside of city hall's highest window? Although Rarity's magic wasn't strong enough to calm the commotion below, it could certainly open a window and right the baffled pegasus outside. . . well, it could at least open the window.

Rarity watched as Fluttershy grabbed onto the frame of the window and pulled herself into the building. The meek pegasus then proceeded to float all the way up to the ceiling where her hooves touched down on the surface.

Though they weren't too far from each other, it was quite a stretch for Rarity's neck to look up to the pegasus.

"Fluttershy, dear, would you mind coming down to me; this is a rather undignified position for us both."

Fluttershy looked down, or up . . . Fluttershy looked at Rarity before giving the unicorn a shy grin.

"I wish I could," Fluttershy started flapping her wings again to try and level with Rarity, only to land once more on the ceiling. "But this is Discord's Hearts and Hooves Day gift, I think. Maybe he's mixed up holidays again."

"Oh no," Rarity felt her heart fall into her hooves. "Don't tell me he's here?"

"He's . . ." Fluttershy hesitated for a moment as she surely was noting the discontent on the unicorn's face, either that or just becoming aware of how jumbled the space below was. "He's bringing the lovebirds and doves you asked for."

As if to make a dramatic entrance, the window erupted with what must have been several hundred white, silver and pink lovebirds all tied together pulling a large sardine can carrying the new headache of the hour himself, Discord. The doves, only two when she had asked for twelve, landed on Rarity's head dressed in small tuxes and top hats. If that wasn't annoying enough, the arrival of so many birds, only 24 of which were needed, startled Rainbow Dash upon her third arrival with another ludicrous flaming heart banner.

Of course, Discord, in his fit of blind laughter, wasn't paying attention to his driving and flew his monstrosity right into the tactless cloth Rainbow had been carrying. The lovebirds all came loose and flew off around the room, becoming fewer in number as they did so. The sardine can began to fall and, of course, was heading for the small stage area.

If Rarity were lucky, the crash would be exactly what would start the fire and the whole catastrophic effect would be complete.

However, instead of a crash, Rainbow had managed to spare her wings from getting wrapped up. She was now the one guiding the sardine sleigh around; Discord putting on a seat belt for good measure. It would have been too much to hope that Rainbow Dash would move the banner off her eyes, so Rarity didn't. The duo zipped around the room knocking the hay wagon over and spreading grass everywhere. The dessert wagon was assaulted as well, no doubt ruining all its contents. The twins were understandably startled, but that did little to justify the louder crying they insisted upon to which the birds only added with their inconsolable squawking. Before Rarity could assess the damage of anything further, she felt the bowl she had been floating in give out from underneath her.

With a cry, Rarity began falling to the floor.

"Rarity!" Fluttershy was the first to react to Rarity's shout, unfortunately, she was too disoriented to fly down properly to grab the unicorn. Rarity's outcry did catch Discord's attention, sadly not Twilight's, and Rarity found herself being saved by a large chocolate fountain.

A splash landed all over the floor as Rarity fell in the chocolate collecting at the base of the fountain.

Rarity pulled her head above the liquid mess and gasped. No amount of shaking was going to get all that staining chocolate out of her mane without a proper washing. Shuffling her disheveled figure to the edge of the silver fountain, Rarity sploshed out onto the floor to the waiting smiles of Pinkie Pie and Spike.

"A Chocolate fountain!?" So much excitement.

Rarity pulled back from the volume of her pink party planning partner.

"Why Didn't We Think Of That, Rarity!?" Pinkie was up and in the outpouring chocolate. "There are even strawberries in here!"

"Save some for me," Spike grinning and jumped up to pull himself into the dish only to have a magic aurora pull him away. "Hey!"

Pulling her young dragon away from an impending sugar rush, Twilight came toward Rarity.

"Rarity, are you okay?" At least princess Twilight had managed to pull herself away from her obsession when it mattered, though it would have been better before Twilight let her and the dishes fall.

"Oh, my mane," Rarity bit her lower lip to hold back the real feelings she was having. "This will take hours to wash out." And days to forget and a ruined evening to cry over. How had her best-laid plans turned into this? The whole auditorium was a mess.

Glancing around now Rarity could see all the broken dishes, destroyed tables and scattered decorations. Hearts and Hooves Day wasn't supposed to look like this, it wasn't supposed to feel like this. . . she wasn't supposed to feel like this.

But somehow she did every year.

"It's all ruined!" Rarity couldn't hold back a sob.

"Now let's not get all worked up over nothin'." Applejack came over to where everypony was gathering around the distraught candy-coated mare completely unaware of how hurtful her words were.

This dance wasn't 'nothing!' This was Rarity's chance to make something romantic and worthwhile on her favorite holiday. A holiday she's never had a chance to really celebrate. How could her friends not see that? Why had they seemingly done everything in their power to essentially trample all her hopes for the evening!

"Nothing!? Nothing!?" Rarity didn't know how to explain herself, she just couldn't. She knew deep down this hadn't been a deliberate attempt on her romantic desires, but it bothered her all the same that her friends could not realize how special this night was to her. She'd wanted it perfect, kind of a way to deliver the magic to Ponyville that she had so longed for in her secret thoughts . . . well, mostly secret. Rarity expected them to know. Why else would she have been so excited about this project? She'd planned for weeks! It was all so overwhelming.

Rarity turned from the group and faced the large fountain again; hooves crossed nopony saw the real pain building behind her eyes.

"Pinkie?"

A chocolate mound with eyes rose out of the candy.

"Do you want some?"

"Do you think," Rarity sighed. "Can you handle the rest of the set up alone, I think I need to, to, to freshen up."

"Yepper-eppers." Pinkie beamed taking the opportunity to lick off a majority of the liquid sweet from her face.

Rarity flinched at the new expression that took Pinkie's face. Without the chocolate Rarity's tears must have been perfectly visible. Pinkie looked sympathetic to Rarity's current plight, though it was clear she didn't know what it was. Rarity was hoping against hope Pinkie would just let the moment pass with little alarm, but of course, that was too much to expect.

"You don't look so good, Rarity. Well, you are covered in chocolate so you _do_ look good but-"

Rarity felt the emotion of the moment hit her hard. She wasn't a stranger to letting her feelings show, but for some reason today wasn't one of those 'worst possible things' kind of outbursts. Rarity just wanted to be alone. She wanted to feel this disappointment without watching eyes and piteous remarks.

"Oh, it's not fair!"

Rarity bolted from the auditorium.

Her friends shared a concerned look, well most of her friends as Fluttershy was still standing on the ceiling.

"Oh no," Spike was about to follow after Rarity, but again was caught up by Twilight. "Poor Rarity. She might of gotten hurt."

"I don't think that's it, Spike." Twilight assured the young dragon.

"I wonder what's got her so upset?" Applejack seemed to be mulling over following too.

"I know, right!" Pinkie bounded out of the chocolate to splash next to the princess; Twilight raised a hoof to prevent any candy from getting on herself. "I can't believe she'd just leave after several painstaking hours laboring over this vastly complex arrangement of plans to put together what she described as, 'The Most Romantic Experience I'll Probably Have This Year.' Her words, no lie! So odd."

Everypony stood staring at Pinkie for a moment letting that information sink in before Discord ruined the silence with his laughter.

"This is why we're all friends!" He kept laughing. "Taking time to consider each other's feelings."

"Knock it off, Discord." Twilight warned in vain.

"I thought I'd have to bring the chaos today, but ladies, disaster, confusion, tears! Ha ha, you've outdone me."

"Zip it!" Rainbow Dash flew into the draconequus' face. "Or I'll outdo that grin right off your face."

"Please, both of you." Twilight finally got the group to calm. "I really think Rarity's feelings were hurt."

"You know what, princess," Discord used a magnifying glass to inspect Twilight face before being batted away. "You may be correct. Excellent deduction of the obvious."

"Y'all sayin' she was hoping to make this evenin' romantic for herself?" Applejack glanced around the room. "Guess we did kinda mess it up, huh? Ah, shoot."

"It's not that bad," Rainbow followed Applejack's eyes. "Well, maybe it is. But we can fix it; no need to act like that."

"Fix It!" It was Discord's turn to be melodramatic with a claw gripping his chest and a paw on his forehead. "How could you even think about correcting a disaster this authentic. It's Beautiful!" The draconequus suddenly had a camera to capture the memory of the place.

"This will take all day to clean up," Twilight frowned. "Not to mention we have to set everything back up."

"What about Rarity?" Spike tapped Twilight's leg hoping to move their friend to the top of their priority list.

"In all honesty, Spike," Applejack acted as the voice of reason. "I think Rarity would be more put out if'n this here dance didn't go on without a hitch."

"But, but . . ."

"You're all acting like this is gonna take all day," Pinkie giggled and retrieved her party canon from the space behind her. "I already have it loaded with Rarity's color scheme!"

With two shots one of the tables that hadn't been tipped over was quickly decorated to a level on par with Rarity's standards. There were some soft objections from the ceiling about scaring the present birds, but it was a rather efficient decoration method.

"Great!" Twilight turned to face the rest of the room. "Okay girls," a grunt came from the group. "And boys, let's clean up these broken dishes, salvage any silverware and give it to Pinkie, remove any decorations not matching the plan, and then regroup to figure out the dessert situation."

"I might have a solution to that already." Applejack trotted over to the Cakes who were trying to collect their fallen sweets.

Rainbow Dash took quickly to removing the old banners. Fluttershy, though not completely able to hear the plan, managed to gather the frightened and confused group of lovebirds and doves in the rafters to remove them from the cleaning area. Applejack arranged for the Cakes to try and make a main dish for the dance seeing as her family had already baked a whole batch of backup desserts. Twilight used her magic to right all fallen tables and remove the hay wagon. Though this wasn't what he originally wanted to do, Spike did his best to sweep up broken plates with a broom he found in a storage closet.

As for Discord, he watched.

Applejack was the first to notice the Lord of Having-Enough-Power-To-Fix-The-Whole-Dance-With-A-Snap just standing about aimlessly.

"Why ain't ya helpin'?" She almost regretted asking already knowing he wouldn't give any good or acceptable answer.

"I value my sanity, thank you very much."

"Ah common," Applejack nudged the creature before her. "It'd mean a lot to Rarity."

Discord glared down to the mare beside him as if she had just insulted his family, assuming he had one. He snorted before turning his attention to the entrance.

"Fluttershy should have gotten here by now. I'm pretty sure I'm ready to leave."

"It's a party," Applejack sighed, still not sure why she was bothering to include Discord at all. "While ya wait, help us out. You should like somethin' fun and crazy like this."

"No, it's an organized event." Discord sounded like he had just eaten something ripe. "I can't stand parties and holidays for that very reason. You can't _plan_ fun."

Applejack was thankful Pinkie hadn't overhead that statement, but she did find herself curious now as to how Discord could hate something as amusing as a party.

"Ya came to the Gala; that was planned."

"Not by _me_ , my dear," Discord smiled briefly materializing a small button with the words 'Nothing Can Stop The Smooze' to pin to Appeljack's hat. "The Gala was the byproduct of Princess Bore and her minion, Unoriginal. I'm certain I helped remedy that, don't you think?"

Applejack raised an eyebrow before smirking. She sat back and pulled the button off her hat before continuing.

"Yeah, you had planned that to end different, didn't ya? Thought you could get somepony's attention with a little schemin'. Guess even Chaos himself could use a little organization in his party planning, huh?"

Discord rolled his eyes.

"Trust me, there is absolutely nothing chaotic about a holiday that is specifically created to organize one of the only things about chaos ponies like."

Applejack scrunched up her muzzle at the thought of liking chaos to any degree. There was nothing about it that was good as far as she was concerned. She understood it had a place in Equestria, but certainly not in relationships and not holidays.

"Hearts and Hooves day isn't about topsy-turvyness, Discord. It's about-"

"The unpredictably delightful feelings you all have for one another. Isn't love supposed to drive ponies to do crazy things?"

The farm pony looked up to the spirit to see him cutting red, folded paper with oversized scissors. He finished his work and pulled the fold out; it was two ponies holding hooves. He continued pulling until he had a rather lengthy chain of them, one that was unceremoniously dropped on Applejack's head.

"You say you want all this planned, but you really don't. Still, you buy pre-written cards and overindulged chocolates. Not a single original expression in the whole day. You don't even bother to make it a surprise, no, it's the same day on the calendar every year! All you ponies get so caught up in your daily rituals that you lose that 'special spark,' then you try to make it into an easily replicated experience out of convenience. Love is rather chaotic and there is no way you ponies are doing it any justice with one overly simplistic holiday."

"Well," Applejack stumbled in thought for a moment. "That's not it at all."

"Is that your best comeback? Honestly, you had such a great crop of arguments a moment ago, but I guess the harvest was a failure."

Applejack was angry with his assault on the holiday, but at the same time . . . she looked around. What was wrong with doing the same thing each year? It was tradition and a good bonding experience. Applejack didn't have a chance to respond.

"If it wasn't for Fluttershy's horrible need for scheduled Tuesday teas instead of spontaneous ones, I wouldn't have even bothered coming out today! Nothing more mundane than a holiday."

There wasn't anything wrong with it, she was sure.

"I feel like somethin' should be said about how Fluttershy values your friendship with a schedule, but I'm sure you probably wouldn't listen and I ain't got time to argue with ya. Just get outta the way if you hate the holiday so much. I'd say the only predictable thing about today is that you don't care about it."

"Spare me your-"

"No, you spare me. Rarity needs us 'cause this is important to her and I think it should be important to everypony else too. Go do whatever you usually do if you don't wanna help, but don't just hang around waitin' to cause trouble." The apple farmer trotted off to join Spike in attempting to clear the dishes from the floor.

o.

Rarity hated that this was the only thing that would comfort her: a large tub of vanilla ice-cream. Rarity had locked herself in her boutique for a long bath. Sadly she couldn't enjoy it and settled on a quick wash. Rarity put on her comfiest robe and threw herself across her favored fainting couch. She wanted to sob openly, but it hurt too much. Being alone on Hearts and Hooves Day again; it hurt too much.

"It's not fair," she moaned between mouthfuls of the dessert. "All I wanted was to give everypony a romantic evening; I wasn't even being selfish. Why does this holiday always make me feel so, so, so unwanted?"

Holding the ice-cream at foreleg's length, Rarity positioned her figure to face a mirror.

"Look at me, hiding away from the world." Rarity watched the streams run down her face staining her fur on their journey to her floor.

This wasn't about the Couples' Prance, this wasn't even about her friends not understanding her.

"The real reason I wanted to decorate the dance was so I wouldn't end up like this on yet another Hearts and Hooves Day; but yet, here I am."

Rarity shut her eyes to block the now rivers from her sight. It hurt too much. Being alone; she knew there was nothing wrong with it. There was no shame in being single. She was young, none of her friends were in relationships, time wasn't running out, her family wasn't pressuring her, she had a fun and successful career still in need of attention, nopony was questioning her current singleness . . .

Romance was something she wanted for herself. Rarity knew she was fabulous, creative, smart, beautiful, resourceful, and blessed beyond belief. Rarity wanted to share that with another pony. Romantic fantasies aside, Rarity wanted nothing more than to look in another pony's eyes and know that all the feelings welling up in her were doing the same for them. She could make them feel wanted.

"Oh, why am I such a failure at love?" Rarity let a few short gasps slip her lips before she felt the pressure of a tissue pressed against her cheek.

"Because,"

The sudden but familiar voice shocked Rarity. She quickly looked up at the unexpected arrival in time to see him tuck his handkerchief in his invisible breast pocket.

"Love's not something you fail at; it's something you experience."

Rarity was now face to face with a dozen roses and a grinning draconequus.


	2. Chapter 2

The surprising nature of the whole situation had taken Rarity completely unaware. Discord was kneeling down extending his flowered gift to the mare. Rarity half expected water to squirt her from the blossoms, but instead, she was treated to a rather pleasing aroma of lilac, despite the bouquet being roses.

She sat waiting. Where was the joke? When was he going to start mocking her silly outburst? And more importantly,

"What did you just say?"

"Love is an experience," Discord frowned a bit as he stood. "You can't fail at something you're not . . ." He sighed. "You know what?" He tossed the flowers over his shoulder where they proceeded to bounce around the room like a rubber ball. "Let's cut all the pleasantries."

With a hint of concern lingering for the blossoms still traveling around her boutique, Rarity focused her attention on the mixed-matched creature before her. He hadn't knocked and certainly wasn't invited, so why was he there?

His strange behavior, or rather the lack of it, was duly noted and Rarity found her suspicion of slightly diminishing. Though a trickster, a friend he was, so his case Rarity would allow to be pleaded. She wouldn't be a fool about it though. Discord wasn't known for his charitable work and odds were he hadn't come to comfort her really.

"Discord, what are you doing in-"

The draconequus snatched up the unicorn in a full embrace, crying heavily enough to flood the entire dress shop up to his waist. Rarity gasped at the sight of her dresses floating off their hangers.

"Oh my dear, Rarity!"

Rarity fought against the undignified advances finally earning her freedom and falling into the sea of tears.

"I happen to find myself single on this, the most," a soft gag. "Romantic of days. Total waste of Hoof in Mouth Day, don't you think?"

Rarity struggled to keep her head above the water as her now wet bathrobe was pulling her down. She didn't dare imagine how ridiculous she must have appeared flaring in the makeshift sea, but the designer certainly had no conflict in her emotions toward draconequus.

"Discord," she dispelled a mouth full of oddly spicy water. "I demand that you cease all this tomfoolery!"

Discord quickly calmed his tears and scooped the damp unicorn out of the water. He held her out and turned her away from himself. Rarity shook her mane, and mentally prepared herself for whatever it was he was about to show her: a fast approaching gondola? Her unwelcome guest whistled for the boat to draw near to which she was placed at one end and Discord the other.

"Okay, what else are we missing?" He smiled reaching into Rarity's ears and pulling out a tacky, checker patterned tablecloth and draping it over the empty space in-between them. As if there had always been a table present, the cloth came to rest on a circular top. Rarity couldn't stop herself from taking a peek underneath to find indeed a table was present.

"Can't forget mood lighting; you hopeless romantics can't get enough of that."

Discord dipped his tail into the water and pulled a sadly crooked candlestick from the depths; lit of course as its burning would make perfect sense to the lunatic Rarity found herself taking company with. Her temper was rising as the Lord of Inconvenience rose what looked to be tiny stars around the now dark ceiling.

"Why are you flooding my boutique?!" The unicorn managed to find her voice just as several small fish began jumping around the boat.

"Let's focus on the real question here, better yet," Discord reached over and yanked the sopping bathrobe off the mare. "I'll be creating the questions."

Rarity let out a short yelp before noticing that she hadn't been completely stripped. Instead of finding herself in a rather undignified fashion, Rarity was both relieved and surprised to find a fully custom tailored gown. Rarity felt her jaw drop.

"This is an evening gown! Characterized by the length, of course, but the detail!" She hadn't meant for her excitement to be so audible, but she was pleased with Discord's work. "The neckline of the bodice is sterling silver! And the ruchings in this dress, all adorned with such intricate appliques! The lace trim is a bit much, but the color; royal blue looks stunning on me!" Rarity nearly overturned the boat with a spin to examine the dress. "I have a tiara on my head, don't I? I can feel it!"

Discord, for his part, must not have anticipated such a reaction as he was almost toppled out of the gondola. Steadying the boat by materializing an oar, Discord was either faking or genuinely grinning back at her.

"And here I thought thumbing through Fluttershy's coffee table magazines would be a waste of my time. Glad you like it."

"Well," Rarity stifled her enthusiasm. "It is quite good considering your inexperience in the area of fashion."

"Be careful there, Rarity, I think you almost gave me a compliment."

How dare he think it beneath her to recognize talent, even such as his. Granted, there was still the looming matter as to why such theatrics were being performed in her store.

"Regardless, you haven't answered my question about my shop! I want you to-"

"What did I say about questions?" Discord pulled a suggestion box from under the table placing it before the unicorn. "Put any further inquiries you may have here."

"If you're attempting to make me feel better, Discord, I've caught the sentiment, but I'm not in the mood for games. Why don't you clean this mess-"

Discord began loudly tapping the box much to the aggravation of the unicorn.

"Listen here, if you don't fix my boutique, they'll need that box to carry you out in!"

The draconequus yawned.

"Oh, you ponies and your idle threats," Discord snapped a talon and every dress floating on top of the water burst into flame. "Look your entire spring line on fire, and there is nothing you can do about it. I'm shaking in my fur." Discord rolled his eyes annoyed.

He seemed so calm though Rarity was certain her heart just stopped. She wasn't breathing anymore she knew that.

"M-my dresses . . ." Her head felt so light.

"Seriously, what could _you_ possibly do to the Lord of Chaos, knit me a tacky sweater." Discord must have put on a sweater at some point, at least Rarity remembers having slightly seen it before- "This reminds me of a beautiful day in the old neighborhood. Hey, wanna be neighbors?"

\- Rarity fainted.

o.

Rarity felt herself groan. She knew she was coming out of one of her dizzy spells, but Rarity was struggling to recall why.

Was it because today was Hearts and Hooves Day? No that would not have caused her to faint. Her friends had ruined her plans for a dance? A fact, but not enough to faint. Discord had paid a visit and-

Rarity shot up. Heart pounding

"My dresses!" She found herself repeating as all her senses came rushing back to her; eyes darting around the boutique to find the dresses not on fire and the room not flooded.

Rarity steadied her breathing and noticed that she was seated on her favorite chaise lounge, just as she had been before the supposed visit from Discord. Had she been dreaming?

"Props to my imagination, but," Rarity rested back down and swallowed hard. "Why give myself such a fright when I'm already having a bad day."

Rarity placed a hoof across her forehead and found it damp. She wiped the space between her eyes and mane to find a wet rag had been placed there. She hadn't done that . . . so who did?

Rarity gave her environment a more thorough scan.

The room, though improved, wasn't in its original state. The dresses were back on hangers, true, but they were floating in the air. The racks were missing as if . . . washed away. The lights were also all candles now, and purple flamed candles at that. A small tub of ice-cream floated beside the lounge with a tag attached reading, 'eat me', though Rarity had a feeling it would taste horrible if she indulged herself.

Apparently, Discord had really been there. He was _still_ there . . . but her dresses weren't burnt? Rarity gave a disappointed sigh and resumed a resting position. Wherever Lord Vexation had gone, he'd soon return and it was best to collect her thoughts before then.

"After removing the over-stimulant," Discord's voice was suddenly present and Rarity didn't know what to do. "Raise the hind legs 12 inches or 30 centimeters." He spoke as if reading.

Rarity closed her eyes. She didn't like the idea of pretending to still be passed out, but she didn't really want to speak with him so soon. Maybe he would leave if he got bored.

"Well, of course, she was 'over-stimulated,' she was in the presences of greatness." Discord chuckled and rustled what sounded like paper.

Rarity dared to open one eye to see Discord approaching.

She was still mad, but in the same token her dresses were no longer damaged and her boutique mostly restored, so becoming angry with him was no longer a justifiable response. Rarity was certain she wanted Discord to leave, but a direct approach with him would be anything but. He had come for some reason and hopefully it hadn't been to make her faint. If he didn't get his point across she wouldn't be rid of him.

As the draconequus neared, Rarity saw that he was carrying a stack of pillows in one paw and a medical book in his talons. Discord was reading as he crossed from the staircase to her current position. He had also taken the liberty of dressing up like Princess Twilight; mane, horn, wings and overly consolidated attitude all included.

Discord glanced up from the book using his magic to remove it and his silly getup from their location. Discord either hadn't noticed yet or was choosing to ignore the fact that she had awoken; Rarity was happy for that. Discord used his free extremity to lift Rarity's back hooves and place two pillows underneath them.

Rarity wanted so much to protest his unwelcome touch. He spoke on as if still reading the book even though it was gone.

"Continue monitoring; checking vital signs and alerting medical professionals in the event of change."

Was he treating her fainting? Discord was taking care of her? Even having seen it with her own eyes, Rarity mentally denied the fact Discord had indeed taken the necessary steps to ensure her quick and comfortable waking.

"You ponies really are fragile."

Discord drew incredibly close to Rarity's muzzle. He may have been checking her breathing; Rarity feared he might have noticed her flinch. She didn't want him seeing her watching him and, for the time being, he hadn't, but his sudden movement spurned hers. Even with her eyes shut tighter than they would be if she had merely fainted, Rarity could imagine his expression as he continued 'monitoring.' Surely he was doing so in his own unique way, but that didn't really matter. Rarity felt a sudden discomfort in having him so close.

Not only could she feel his breath, she could hear it. Discord wasn't a small creature by any means. He towered over most ponies she knew and having him this near seemed to only exasperate that point. She wouldn't ever admit this to his face, but having him so near felt dangerous. For all intents and purposes, Discord was very predatory in appearance, and it didn't help his cause of trying to play medic.

She wasn't being completely fair in thinking such things about him. She knew he was working on becoming a better friend and he had proven that he could take at least some measure of restraint in his antics to protect said relationships. He wasn't really dangerous; his behaviors were a mystery lost on her. And though she usually found a level titillation in imaging such personalities, Rarity quickly pushed that thought for Discord from her mind.

"Well, she's still breathing," Discord's words were accompanied by two digits of his lion paw on her neck. "Now I'm certain ponies' keep a pulse in here somewhere."

Rarity's heart-rate doubled as she felt Discord's fingers slide across her jawline; his claws tickling just a bit as he did so. That was about as much as she could handle as a blush took over her face.

"Excuse you! What do you think you're doing?" Rarity toppled off the couch completely startled by Discord's lack of regard for personal space. She righted herself and glared up at the draconequus.

"Funny," Discord placed a claw to his chin. "The book made it seem like it would take a little longer to revive you!"

"Can you just explain why you're here already?"

"Does all your dialogue end with a question mark?"

Rarity continued to glare.

"Fluttershy has a million of these health guides." The book was back and pressed right into Rarity's nose. "Says here that elevating your back hooves is the best way to restore blood flow to your head."

Rarity's eye twitched as she snorted her disapproval. Discord didn't seem all to fazed by her disposition, however, he smirked lightly before closing the book and reopening it to reveal chocolates instead of words.

Rarity hastily pushed the candy-filled book aside.

"Discord. You still haven't told me why you are here and why you keep messing up my store." Rarity stomped a hoof hoping to both emphasize the importance of the question and to distract his gaze from her face.

"Well that's 'cause you keep sidetracking me, my dear." Discord floated on to his back to lounge. "It's about this horribly tragic holiday you ponies keep insisting is romantic, and I've decided I don't want to spend it alone."

"What makes you think I want to babysit you?" Rarity spat.

"You don't have to try so hard to hide your excitement, I know you're flattered to have such a handsome draconequus for a special somepony this year."

Rarity was at a complete loss for words. Discord couldn't just barge in and insist they were dating. Nothing about this was proper nor was it acceptable. They were not a couple. Not now, not ever!

"You are not my special somepony!" Rarity felt her blush return, but on the premise of anger now. "I wouldn't date you, Discord, if you were the only-"

"The only stallion to ask you out; which, if I'm not mistaken, I am." Discord interrupted manifesting Rarity's mailbox beside himself to pull out only bills and a sale's flier.

"Phft- How dare you. I'm not some desperate, hopeless romantic with little option but to stoop to, to, well to just whoever throws their self at me." Rarity turned her nose up, though he had a clear height advantage. "I am a lady, and I intend to wait for true love with grace and dignity."

At that Discord burst out into laughter.

"And what's so funny?" Rarity felt her anger rise again.

Discord dropped down onto Rarity's lounge with the most melodramatic pose he could muster. With the flick of his wrist, he held a tissue and threw his arm over his head.

"It's All Ruined!" Discord's voice was a perfect replication of her own. "It's Not Fair! I'm gonna run away and leave all my friends to clean up this disaster of a dance I tried to put together because I feel simply awful about being single; awfully dignified of me."

"Stop that!"

"I'm just gonna hide away like I do every year!" Discord grabbed the floating ice-cream beside the couch and began eating. "I'm gonna stuff my face like I do every year!"

"Knock it off!"

"I'm going to spend another year waiting around with all this grace," Discord blew his nose into a quick appearing pillow. "I must look so dignified because this is what waiting looks like: days laboring over this dance, just to have it end up as big a failure as my love life. I'm miserably happy waiting. I'm single, alone, but I'm not desperate. Pathetic really, but not desperate."

"Please." Rarity felt a knot build at the back of her throat watching Discord's display.

"I feel unwanted, unloved and useless! I'm so miserable that even when stallions _do_ ask me out I'm too dignified to accept! Probably because nopony will ever be good enough for me. Such a waste of talent, beauty, and charisma am I. I'm so amazing I guess I'll just be in love with all my fantasies. Who needs true . . . love . . . anyway?"

Rarity was visibly shaking with emotion.

"Oops," Discord sighed softly. "That wasn't what I intended."

"Discord," Rarity felt herself speaking through clenched teeth. "Shut. Up."

There was a pause, but then Rarity felt the effect of her emotions get the better of her tongue.

"Nopony likes your constant taunting and teasing. I don't feel like being harassed by you today."

"Rarity, that is not why I-"

"Fine, Discord!" Rarity spat; Discord sitting up as if to study her new expression of ire. "Fine. Yes, you're right, I'm lonely, I'm pathetic. I haven't _ever_ had a special somepony and I ridiculously feel like I never will. Is that what you came for." She sighed heavily. "Like you'd even understand that."

Discord had a furled brow upon her words.

"Of course, because you're the only one in the universe who has ever felt that way."

Rarity temper flared.

"You don't get to make this about you! You came to bother me! You just want to rub it in my face how silly I am for feeling this way. I'm not amazing, happy? Is that what you came here to hear me say? I have a business, I'm friends with a princess, I'm beautiful, and yet I still can't attract a pony who will love me for all my flaws too. I'm impatient, selfish, image-centric. I'm oversensitive, have fluctuating self-esteem . . ."

"Those are considered bad qualities?"

Rarity began pacing the space in an aimless march.

"I try to rush romance, and even with so many great friends I never feel like their companionship is enough. I'm so greedy, but picky. I am unwanted because nopony would want the real mess that is Rarity. For everything I have, everything I've achieved . . ." Rarity stopped walking and simply studies her hooves. "Even when a stallion notices me, it's just to make himself feel better; like Prince Blue Blood. I've been with so many . . . no pony ever wants me for me. And I'm not all that impressive . . . and maybe they see that. I don't want to be loved just for all the achievements I've made, I want . . . I want . . ."

Rarity looked back at Discord to see him staring back with a raised eyebrow. A few more tears slipped down her face as she waited for his response to the ammunition she had so foolishly handed him. But no response came. He continued to watch her silently; waiting.

"Just leave, Discord," Rarity didn't care how rough her voice sounded as she bolted for the stairs. "I want to be alone."

The unicorn could hear her guest remark something downstairs, but she couldn't quite make it out over her own sobs. Rarity felt her heartbreaking all over again. Admitting the feelings she was having out loud proved harder than she could have ever expected. These feelings weren't new, but on most days she could distract herself from them. Hearts and Hooves Day made the emotions so much stronger than her. Today was about finding the perfect distraction to not having to remember these dark perceptions.

She should have known there was no running from the truth.

Rarity used her magic to open her bedroom door so she could rush in and slam it behind herself. She didn't even make it to her bed; Rarity knelt where she was and poured her feelings out onto the floor for several long minutes.

"Rarity?" Discord's voice came from the door, and then a light knock.

He was quiet for a moment. Rarity buried her face into the carpet to stifle her crying. Why was he still there?

"Rarity, don't cry," he spoke in such a way Rarity couldn't clearly make out his intention, but she rather wished she didn't have to. "I didn't . . well, I _did_ mean it, but I guess the apology I'm looking for is a, 'I shouldn't have,' maybe a, 'I went too far . . .'"

Another silent moment.

"Well, now that we _both_ know you're not perfect, and I think I'm safe in saying you don't want to spend the day alone . . ?"

Rarity sat up and turned to the door.

"I always enjoy imperfections." Discord slipped something under the entrance; a heart-shaped card. "What do you say? How about we spend one Hearts and Hooves Day not alone?"

Rarity looked down at the card reading, "Will you be my special somepony?" An illustration of she and Discord dancing with a group of big-eyed puppies moved across the paper.

Did she dare entertain the idea that maybe he had come to spend the day with her? It was almost too much to believe. . . was she thinking about taking him up on the offer?

"Are you, really asking me out?"

"Unless there's another pony named Rarity in there, I think you can assume I'm asking you."

"And this isn't a prank?"

"Pinkie Pie has made it clear to me that she and Rainbow Dash have cornered that market. And I guess after a town-wide pranking spree, the stocks are down anyway."

Rarity didn't want to believe he was being serious. If he was, this would be the very first Hearts and Hooves Day date she'd ever go on. Well, if she accepted of course. But this was Discord.

She felt something unnerving but exciting about the whole situation. Was she really contemplating this? Rarity sniffled a bit allowing the unfamiliar feeling to settle in her stomach. With a deep sigh, she responded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, my crack ship. Nobody asked for this pairing back when I started this story and nobody's asking for it now, but for whatever reason, you're still reading it and I hope you're having fun. I grew to love this ship from writing this story. There really needs to be more Rarity Discord stuff.


	3. Chapter 3

"What have I agreed to?"

That was the twelfth . . .

"What _have_ I agreed to?"

. . . thirteenth time she'd said that. She hadn't meant to sound so pessimistic about the endeavor, but as soon as the affirmation left her mouth Rarity immediately feared what she had gotten into. She had willingly accepted to allow herself to be romanced by history's most unpredictable troublemaker and ruler of all things unstable.

She was dating Discord!

The thought needed time to settle in her mind and, of course, that meant her mouth was running. It was a bad habit, but when Rarity wanted to mull over her thoughts she had to do so out loud. What should have been a simple "yes" had turned into an empiric debate against her better judgment.

"Is this a date-date? Are we really compatible? Should I wear the red dress or is that too intimate between friends like us?"

She couldn't help it. Rarity found herself rambling on about her ideal Hearts and Hooves Day date and how implausible it would be with a couple as unique as they were to have.

Candlelit dinner? Discord couldn't possibly be expected to sit still through that. Stage play: he'd openly mock it and have them banned from the theater. Quaint picnic by the lake: surely Rarity would be the one to damper that outing by not appreciating any of the foods Discord would deem fitting for such an occasion.

They were the absolute worst couple to ever be matched. Why had she agreed to this?

"How are ponies going to react to us even being on a date? There is absolutely nothing we could do that both of us would enjoy."

Her mouth was still running as her brain flipped through hundreds of other possible scenarios. What in Equestria did a date with Discord even look like? Definitely not the kind of outing she had in mind. What she wanted was an evening at the Couples' Prance not whatever chaos Discord could think up.

"I mean," Rarity sighed heavily remembering that this was, in fact, the only offer she'd ever had on this holiday. "You weren't really the first choice I had in mind."

"There it is," Discord groaned.

Somehow, during all her rambling, the couple had made their way to the storefront. Discord had a rather annoyed expression on his face and Rarity suddenly felt awful.

"A tried and true clique," Discord spat. "What kind of romance story would this be without a few one-liners like that."

Rarity couldn't remember everything she let slip during her rant, but it certainly couldn't be having a positive effect on Discord. He hadn't asked her out to receive such criticism. For a lady who finally had a date on Hearts and Hooves Day, she was doing a poor job of acting the part. As for Discord, being so attuned to spontaneity it must have been disheartening to imagine the only way to make her happy was to be meticulously traditional. Rarity didn't want her first date starting off like this. Even if her special somepony was _him_ , she wasn't going to allow this date to end in failure.

"I'm sorry, let me explain. I've always imagined myself with a pony more like Prince Blueblood." Rarity did her best to gain Discord's eye contact but he seemed distracted by the air in the space. She would just have to continue without his full attention, perhaps he'd still understand where her heart was coming from.

"But, honestly, that was a nightmare of a date. I have a lot of silly expectations, Discord. I want you to know I truly am grateful that you would consider spending this holiday with me. I know I must have sounded spiteful, but that couldn't be farther from. . . well, I'd be lying to say you would be my top choice, but . . ." How to say this delicately? "This date certainly isn't the worst choice I've made today. I know this won't be exactly like I dreamed, but it won't be a complete disaster either. You've proven to be a good friend and . . ."

Rarity was taken a bit by surprise as Discord snapped his fingers. She couldn't readily see the effects of his gesture, but one thing was clear, he didn't appear to be listening at all to what she was saying and instead had moved his attention to something behind her. Rarity turned to see her entire spring stallion collection floating behind her. Discord waved his paw to thumb through the selection. It was then she noticed he had dressed her in the evening gown from before, minus the lace.

It appeared he was attempting to pick an outfit in some agreement with hers. He made capricious expressions at any attire that didn't fit his fancy and had no reserve about laughing at several others. Rarity doubted he'd find anything he'd enjoy, but maybe for the sake of the date, he'd try to. Though all the suits were fashioned for ponies, it wouldn't take much effort for a creature of Discord's magical talent to customize any pick. His final selection was a delightful burgundy velvet dinner jacket which Rarity thought could serve to complement his array of earth tones nicely if accessorized properly. It would end up elongating his figure since his tail was of a similar shade, but it could work.

"Close," Discord smirked before taking the jacket and turning it bright reds, oranges, pinks and yellows. It completely clashed with his fur color, but he dared smile at it.

"Dear Celestia, no!" Rarity used her magic to yank the outfit out of the draconequus' clutches. "You may think yourself to be quite the colorful character, Discord, but this won't do. Trust me, you are most definitely made up of earth tones."

He blinked a few times, looked to his paw then back to her; angry most likely because he didn't understand the basics of color coordination.

"Believe me, Discord, muting your ensemble suits you better. Such standout colors don't belong on you."

"Ha, if you think bland colors will dull down my personality . . ." He spoke with slight amusement and agitation, if such a tone could exist.

Rarity immediately felt the need to remind him that she wasn't trying to change him. She was trying to adjust to the date. Though, honestly, somepony needed to save the Lord of Chaos from his own fashion faux pas.

"I'm not trying to make you dull," Rarity sighed in frustration; why could nopony understand the simplicity of matching? "In fact, you should know that earth tones are considered complex colors; each one is a blend and that's why they look so good together. They play off each other if you will. Bright colors don't do that though. They are mostly pure and have a tendency to make colors like yours seem rather dirty. In essences, solid colors make you dull."

"Wait," Discord placed a paw over his mouth and took a deep breath as if contemplating something life altering. "You're saying, that all this time, by wearing," he shuddered. "Solid, bright colors, I've been wearing boring colors? Oh, where would be the chaos in that?"

Rarity had to think for a second. Discord could very well be mocking her, but he was waiting for a response and hadn't yet regained the aforementioned garment.

"I wouldn't say pure colors are less chaotic, which does seem to be your thing," Rarity took another short pause. "I would say as an onlooker, the bright colors are very jarring on you and, I suppose, create the effect you're looking for. However, you should know it is the _clothing_ that is giving the shock value, not you. But if it's the chaos of the color itself that you want, matching is a better idea. Not only are the colors more aesthetically pleasing, but they also highlight your rather unique arrangement of features."

"Rarity," Discord bowed down to the unicorn and took a hoof in his paw. "You have opened my eyes to a whole world of possibilities."

"Have I?"

Seemed elementary information to her.

Discord laughed as he straightened up; the room changing with him. Rarity gasped as the floor under her began to elevate. Lights shining, music playing, cameras flashing. Discord had transformed the Carousel Boutique into a fashion runway, and with more flare than she had ever done in the past. The whole site was so grand there was no way Discord could have fit it into her little shop. Rarity was almost tempted to peek out a window to see if the shop had grown to match its new interior or was it just bigger on the inside. That proved an impossible feat as there appeared to be no windows and thus no way to check.

"Fillies and gentelcolts," Discord stood fully dressed in the burgundy jacket and matching velvet trousers. "Welcome to the first, and only, Chaos Couture Runway Spectacular!"

A roar of applause and cheers filled the room as Rarity looked out into an audience of strangely clad ponies, griffons and various other sorts. Rarity didn't know when they had arrived, but they were there now. Their outfits ranging from subtle disaster to catastrophic cry for help. There appeared to be a judges' panel too. Three empty seats waiting for occupants no doubt.

Discord positioned himself center stage to the delight of the spectators with a microphone in his talon. He waved and carried on as if the whole presentation were real. Of course, this had to be an illusion of his magic. There was no possible way the audience could be real. Then again, this was Discord.

"Let's meet our first fashion expert, all the way from Manehatten: Plaid Stripes!" Discord gestured to stage left where Rarity was shocked to see her youngest, and possibly least style-conscious, sales associate trot out smiling.

"How is she here?" Rarity glared up to Discord. "What's going on?"

"Clearly a fashion show," Discord lowered to Rarity's level giving her a slight jab with his elbow. "Don't be such a killjoy; we're the hosts after-all." He continued. "Our next guest hailing from just outside of Ponyville and has a rock-solid eye for fashion, Limestone Pie!"

Stomping across the stage, the earth pony came to stand next to Discord and Rarity. Glaring so hard the shadows created by her brow darkened any appeal left in her eyes.

"This better not take all day."

Rarity smiled sheepishly feeling a tad threatened. She pointed Limestone in the direction of the judges' panel where Plaid Stripes was now standing on the table watching the audience. They cheered as Limestone took a seat to sulk in.

Rarity turned her attention to her 'co-host' as the noise carried on around them.

"Discord, I thought we were going on a date?"

He looked at her and smiled.

"I knew you'd enjoy a fashion show." He pulled a card from his breast pocket and held it down to Rarity. "Would you like to read the name of our last celebrity judge?"

"First off," Rarity took the card in her magic but neglected to read it. "Fashion shows aren't judged like this. You have two of the most fashion illiterate ponies I know."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Rarity," Discord didn't sound very sorry. "I tend to forget you're the final authority on all things fashion."

Rarity couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Second, this isn't a proper date. Are we having one or not?"

Discord groaned a bit, remarking something softly along the lines of, "I thought that's what we were doing." Rarity wasn't certain how to interpret his change in mood. Just a moment ago he was having so much fun messing with her and now he looked to have all his energy drained out.

"Expert on romance too?" Discord sighed.

"I can tell you _this_ isn't it." Rarity gestured to the disgruntled rock farmer boring the crowd with a lengthy lecture on the importance of her role back home. "This isn't a romantic lunch or intimate setting. I mean, I love fashion, but runways aren't Hearts and Hooves Day."

"Obviously I can't meet you halfway," he was defiantly agitated. "So how about this. We have a little contest; you get the judges to like whatever creation you can put together on your models and we'll have a date set to all of your specifications."

"Wait," Rarity took a step. "Are you saying we're having a bet? Like, if I win you'll make sure to give me the perfect Hearts and Hooves Day and, if you win . . ?"

"If I win, you go on the date _I'd_ prefer; no questions asked."

She had already, perhaps foolishly, agreed to a date with him, but if she had a chance to gain the reigns so to speak, this day might be tolerable.

"Fine." Rarity put on her most competitive airs. "But you should be warned that fashion is more than a mere hobby for me, Discord. I do believe I have the upper hoof here."

Discord perked up at her comment.

"That's the spirit! Let's have some real fun."

Rarity proceeded to the front of the stage and stared at Limestone. The moment she noticed Rarity's agitated glare, she sat down with a scowl. Rarity turned to the full house, scanning the audience quickly. Almost everypony in attendance was wearing fashions that didn't fit them. Most were also rather young. Not school pony age, but not settled adults either. Discord's audience then was one that enjoyed the lifestyle of her generation. Good to know. Wild, bold, exciting. This group wanted fun and freedom in their outfits but hadn't yet figured out the nuance of fashion. Above all, they wanted to be unique.

The judges seemed to be of the same age bracket. Rarity already knew Plaid Stripes' love of kooky design, and she was fairly certain she could gauge Limestone's tastes. She was more of a gem girl for sure; as long as Rarity better coordinated her accessories she was sure to win the farmer over. She just needed to see the last judge.

Rarity lifted the card to her eyes to see the letters spinning as if in a slot machine. It was then clear Discord was adjusting his decisions to better serve his purpose.

"He's going to pick somepony who'd hate anything the other two enjoyed!" Rarity panicked to herself as the letters continued to move. Rarity needed to think fast. If she made a pick before him then maybe his choice wouldn't matter. But who? Who would like anything Rarity could create regardless of how good it was?

"Spike The Dragon!" Rarity managed to voice her wishes even without a microphone.

"I said our next guest had to be a celebrity!" Discord immediately retorted the audience getting excited to see the hosts fighting.

"He is," Rarity paused for a moment then smiled. "He's saved the Crystal Empire and is the personal assistant to Equestria's own Princess Twilight Sparkle; please welcome to the stage Spike!" Rarity sighed in relief as her little friend came running out to join her.

"Rarity, what is all this?" Spike nodded to the crowd that cheered him.

"A little wager between Discord and myself," Rarity informed him. "We would like you to judge a little fashion show we're putting together."

"Odd, I somehow already knew that." Spike practically beamed having the chance to help. "I feel like I was doing something else really important, but I guess it was just to get here on time."

"But you know what I haven't told you yet," Discord slithered up between the two and placed a paw on the small dragon's head. Discord then moved the microphone to his mouth for all to hear. "That this little contest starts off Rarity's and my first date. You know, it being Hearts and Hooves Day and all."

Rarity breathed sharply as Spike's eyes grew at the news.

"You're on a date?" Spike turned to her, hurt in his voice. "With Discord?" Now that sounded more like disbelief.

"Hard to believe I'd stoop to such a level, I know." Discord grinned, he clearly knew what he had done.

"I'm finding it hard to believe." Rarity deadpanned.

Her attention didn't stay on Discord for long. Spike made a soft sniffling.

"Oh, Spikey." Rarity took a seat next to the little dragon who was trying to hide the pout on his face. She wasn't sure what to say in response to his show of emotion. Spike's crush wasn't completely lost on Rarity, but it was always assumed to be just that: a little school-colt crush or school dragon crush in his case. He never seemed to get upset when she had romantic inclinations for others before. Then again, Discord was a considerably closer friend than, say, a pony like Trenderhoof had been.

"No, I'm okay, Rarity." Spike perked up a bit, but there was still a heavy hint of disappointment in his tone. "It could be fun . . . judging a fashion show." Spike slowly walked over to the judges' panel and placed his chin on his claws.

Rarity sighed. Discord had done this on purpose. She didn't know how he knew Spike had a crush on her, but the fact he took advantage of that was both cruel and unacceptable.

"That was low even for you, Discord."

The draconequus smirked and lowered his head down to his co-host's level.

"Not as low as you trying to use your friend's emotions to cheat." Discord placed a paw on Rarity's shoulder to which she quickly pulled away. "I had to get leverage somehow."

"You knew he had a crush on me; you're using his emotions against him!"

"No, I'm using them against you," Discord straightened. "Just like _you're_ using them against me."

"I'm doing no such thing! How dare you accuse me of using Spike like that, I just-"

"Picked the only dragon in Equestria who practically worships the ground you walk on to have an unbiased opinion in this contest?"

Rarity froze, even her breathing seemed to pause.

"Don't worry about it," Discord spoke on though Rarity wished she couldn't hear him. "I find it delightful that you view me as such a challenge you'd need to manipulate your friends to win, but for the sake of your own sanity, I say we quit such childish behavior and try to win this fair and heart-shaped."

"You mean square?" Rarity tried to correct.

"Only as much as your styles will be." Discord laughed as the show continued on.

The audience simmered a bit as the draconequus worked more of his magic. Two large curtains appeared to frame the stage and provide a back area for models to line up before entering. Discord then snapped both himself and Rarity to the back leaving a copy of himself on the stage to entertain the crowd.

"Time for us to pick models for each other," Discord suddenly held up a photo album filled with pictures of both ponies Rarity knew and had never met. "I think we should stay with the holiday theme and pick couples for each other. You chose mine first."

His smile was too genuine to be genuine. Rarity didn't know what edge he was trying to gain, but she felt a sudden competitive edge drive her decision. If she picked a difficult couple for Discord, he'd be sure to pick an even harder couple for her. Then again, maybe he'd pick a bickering twosome for her no matter what.

"Hmm," Rarity flipped through the album weighing the options. "Are they going to remember this when it's over?"

"Usually after I send a pony back from a pocket dimension they mention something about deja vu, but I've never actually cared enough to ask."

Rarity sighed. So long as the ponies wouldn't remember any of this, it should be harmless fun.

She was going to be generous and pick at least one pony who could tolerate working with Discord but finding any such dating pony might be a stretch. Looking at the choices, Rarity found herself surprised. She had no idea some of these ponies were dating … Wait, some of the options weren't even alive.

Twilight and a pile of books, Princess Celestia and a slice of cake, Big Mac and a Smarty Pants doll. Tom and Boulder?! What was she expecting from the trickster? Rarity did her best to ignore the obvious jokes and focus on the real couples in the book.

The next couple was a real possibility, though unexpected as Rarity was certain she'd be the first to know if one of her closest friends was in a relationship.

"Rainbow Dash and Zephyr Breeze?" Rarity spoke absent mindlessly unaware Discord was waiting for the first thing she said.

"Interesting pick, sweetheart." Discord snapped his claws and the two appeared.

"No, wait!" Rarity knew Rainbow wouldn't be happy with her finding out about this secret love affair. "I didn't mean to pick them!"

"Too bad." Discord waved off her complaint.

It took only a moment before Discord's couple noticed each other and began bickering. Rarity did her best to hide the cringe that overtook her features. Not only would Discord get even with her for picking such an argumentative couple, but now Rarity would have to live with the fact that, apparently, Rainbow Dash had been in a relationship before her. It was petty and very unladylike, but the indigence of a pony like Rainbow falling in love before her was insufferable.

"Seriously!" Rainbow yelled lifting as high away from Zephyr as possible. "You gotta be kidding. I'm not posing as a couple with him!"

"Don't try so hard to hide it, Rainbows," Zephyr sounded too calm for having just seen his filly friend flee him. "I know you're excited, but you don't have to impress me."

The two pegasi fought on as Discord ushered them to his side of the stage.

It was impossible. Rarity's jealousy forced her to turn away from the attempts Discord was making to get the two to settle. She hated how it was eating at her, but she hated more how it was changing into another emotion.

"Okay," Discord returned, dusting his hands off as he did so. "Since you've picked such a delightful couple for me, I think I can return the favor."

Rarity groaned lightly, but she'd take whatever disaster Discord threw at her and she'd make it fabulous. She was going to make this Hearts and Hooves Day fabulous!

"Starlight and Sunburst." Discord brought the couple to her and then casually walked away calling. "You have twenty minutes before judging, make something great for that Couples' Prance in town later tonight."

"Twenty Minutes!" Rarity couldn't help but feel this was a pinch unfair. "I can't create two evening outfits in twenty minutes!"

A miniature Discord popped out from Rarity's tiara startling her just slightly.

"You're too worried about the details," he did a small tap dance continuing. "You're my date for the day; mi magia es tu magia. Creating will be a snap, literally. Try it!"

Rarity raised a hoof. Not really a snapping appendage, but, to her amazement, the sound came and a pile of fabric materialized on the floor. A delighted gasp escaped her lips.

As Discord disappeared from her head, Rarity turned to her models with a smile. That foolish draconequus had no idea what he had done. Starlight and Sunburst were good friends. Though again Rarity found herself surprised by the state of their relationship, she knew there was no way these two would cause as many problems as the two Discord had. Not to mention having the power to create at will; this would be a surefire win and then finally Rarity would get the day she deserved.

"Okay models" Rarity trotted around the bewildered couple running several ideas through her mind. "We have loads of work to do and not a lot of time to do it in."

Was it fair that these ponies, none of whom had ever mentioned wanting a romantic relationship before, all had dates, _and_ without even telling her that they had a special somepony? It wouldn't cloud her creativity at least. Of all the ponies she knew, nopony deserved a truly happy love story on this day more than her friends. Rarity wanted to be happy for Rainbow and Starlight, as odd as it was that two friends had hidden their relationships from her. Well, considering Zephyr, Rarity understood why Rainbow had.

"Rarity?" Starlight tentatively raised a hoof trying to stop the fashionista's pacing. "I understand we're putting on a fashion show, but I can't ever remember agreeing to this. Is this an impromptu friendship lesson?"

"Yes, please explain," Sunburst seemed rather nervous peeking over to the main stage from time to time.

"Don't worry, I suppose," Rarity smiled as honestly as jealousy would allow. "Discord and I are just having a little fun and I'll make sure you two can get back to your date soon."

Rarity rolled her eyes at their fringed confusion before willing a measuring tape to begin her work. The wasn't enough time to play the 'I Don't Want To Admit My Feelings' game. Rarity needed to collect their measurements and think up a theme for their outfits posthaste.

"I'm sorry," Starlight suddenly grabbed the tape from Rarity's magic and moved it aside. "Did you just say we were on a date? As in Sunburst and I are a couple?"

"Don't worry about it, Starlight. I promise not to tell anypony until you two are ready." Rarity swallowed a pang of hurt. Everypony was different. If they preferred to downplay their status of happiness that one could easily covet, well that was their decision. She needed to work.

"Rarity, Sunburst and I aren't dating, I merely came here today . . ." Starlight paused and seemed to miss the agitation on Rarity's muzzle. "Well, I don't know why we came, but I thought the next time I made plans to be with a friend was to visit with Sunburst in the Crystal Empire."

"That's correct," the stallion interjected. "We had plans to review an ancient spell I'd found, possibly over lunch."

On Hearts and Hooves Day? Rarity found that unlikely.

" _Why_ you two are _so_ embarrassed about your relationship is beyond me." The moping Rarity was certain her friends could do without, but she just couldn't help it, especially considering her current situation. "Having the opportunity to date a good friend on Hearts and Hooves Day is a dream come true for most ponies."

Rarity took back the tape and glared at the two. Then, Rarity's expression softened.

Starlight was looking to Sunburst who had become a bright shade of red. Both unicorns were speechless for a moment; Sunburst doing his best to avoid eye contact with the mare beside him. Finally, Starlight broke the tension.

"Is that why you invited me over on Hearts and Hooves Day?" She was being careful to not sound judgmental, Rarity could tell. "Not for the spell, but because you wanted to have, well, spend time with me?"

"I thought it could be nice to, spend Hearts and Hooves Day with you," Sunburst adjusted the glasses sliding down his nose. "It's good having your friendship again and I thought today would be a good day t-to celebrate that."

Starlight sent her gaze away from her blushing friend and bit her lower lip as if trying to suppress a smile, or maybe a grimace. Either way, it was one of the sweetest things Rarity had seen all day. Something about them made Rarity's heart spark with a slightly new purpose.

"You two weren't a couple before," Rarity felt her jealousy wean as her excitement for the couple took a hold. "But it's clear now you two should consider the possibility." Rarity felt a genuine smile grip her features at the elation of instigating Starlight's and Sunburst's first date.

It was then the inspiration hit: First Date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You made it to the third chapter. YAY! I can't really remember what I was thinking when writing this chapter, but I remember I had pancakes for dinner one night, which is important because sugar fuels chaotic writing. According to old notes, I wrote this chapter during breaks at work. I mean, I hope you're still having fun reading.


	4. Chapter 4

Though the entire idea of a fashion show should have been an easy enough concept for any foal to appreciate let alone a full-grown mare; Rarity's struggle with the concept had outlived its entertainment value and crossed over to piteous. Of all the crazy things he could have done; a dinner inside an active volcano or a romantic walk through a field of carnivorous flowers, Discord could have chosen any range of chaos to introduce his dearest crybaby to; but this shouldn't have been such a challenge for her.

But the challenge was making his little scheme more fun. Discord was actually enjoying his work for the moment. Rainbow Dash had already unloaded every insult known to ponykind and had finally resorted to physical means to keep the ever-ambitious Zephyr Breeze at bay. Their interaction had proven more amusing than any recanted story Fluttershy had shared about the two. Every new fighting pose inspired Discord's theme: Unrequited Madness!

"I'm thinking, 17th century with a hit of lemonade," Discord snapped his claws to watch both ponies dawn powdered wigs and puffy clothes all colored bright yellow. "Ha ha, gold!"

Rainbow scowled as Zephyr tried to practice another romantic position with her, leaning across her augmented backside.

"Rainbows, I just know we'll be a favorite with the judges," Zephyr winked at his co-model.

The flash of anger in the mare's eyes was priceless as a slew of insults were turned on Discord demanding an explanation and her immediate removal from the show. Discord didn't waste any thought on her words though; by this point, he'd grown too accustomed to registering her voice as anything more than ambient background sound.

But perhaps she was right. Maybe Discord had taken his fun a tad too far again. Rainbow Dash looked so unhappy . . . Nah, who's he kidding. This was hilarious! The only thing better than one discombobulated Rainbow Dash-

"-Having two!" Discord could not restrain the roar of laughter at the sight of the couple.

Zephyr was adorned in complete Rainbow appeal. Even his mane was made to match. The Wonderbolts' uniform was a tad much and even Discord knew points would be docked by the judges, but Rainbow's protests were just too sweet to pass up. The crowd would love watching their favorite egomaniac rip a lazy-good-for-nothing to pieces.

"And if not, I'll enjoy it." Discord smiled, the whole display pleasing him ever so.

As the two pegasi bickered on, Discord glanced over to Rarity's side of the stage. She was no doubt working tirelessly to create the perfect escape from his offer of an evening for two. Which was to be expected. Honestly, Discord was surprised Rarity had agreed to be with him to begin with.

He watched her zip around the two blushing unicorns with a measuring tape and several fabrics popping in and out of reality. She was probably debating with herself whether or not her models were 'earth tones.' Discord snorted a bit of amusement.

"She's using quite a bit of chaos rather fast, isn't she?" Discord began counting the number of variables his dear Rarity was adding to the dimension.

Rarity materialized over seven different suits for Sunburst, none of which seemed to capture whatever theme she was trying to live up to. Starlight's mane reeled through no less than 30 different styles stopping on some kind of half up half down look. Rarity was changing the fabric colors a tad too fast for Discord to keep up with, but he estimated at least 60, which was saying something about her creativity as Discord didn't believe he even knew 60 different colors. So 97 new variables in less than a minute.

Chaos certainly didn't need that many variables to become interesting, one would be more than enough, but introducing so much magic to the initial conditions of that dimension were bound to start showing their effects sooner rather than later. Time was going to quickly become Rarity's worst enemy.

"Give a pony an inch," Discord grinned debating whether or not to let their current scenario play out any longer.

Rarity's models were starting to show signs of being overwhelmed. Rarity didn't have the awareness to realize it, but her frantic attention to detail was beginning to encroach on her models' personal space. Not only that, but the more she used his magic on them, the more chaos was building up around them. Maybe that was the reason Starlight's tail was starting to turn green or the reason most of the fabrics Rarity popped in were now moving unassisted.

"Discord!" Rainbow Dash's voice brought the draconequus back to his project. "I don't know why I ever agreed to help you in this, I don't even remember when you asked me to do this! But I'm not working with _him_ anymore!"

To Discord's surprise, Zephyr was now sporting a black eye.

"Such an improvement to my design," Discord complimented. "But do you think all these colors match?"

"Discord, I'm serious," Rainbow flew up to his eye level. "Can't ya just magic-in somepony else to put up with him?"

Discord blinked a few times at the mare before glancing back to Rarity.

All of the outfits she had been conjuring had turned a rather interesting shade, he'd guess Throw-up Green. It may be that his memory was failing him, but Discord was fairly sure Rarity didn't have a preference for green. Suddenly Sunburst glasses began floating away bursting into bubbles once they reached the ceiling.

"Hello? Equestria to Discord." Rainbow was trying to steal his attention again stupidly knocking a hoof against his forehead.

"Get in the spirit of the holiday," Discord barked back at her before blowing a kiss into her face.

Rainbow slowly landed, frozen with a blank expression.

"Rainbows?" Zephyr stepped closer to the mare waiting, then looked up to Discord. "I can strut out there with a stiff; I think you should stop whatever hex you put on her."

"Wait for it." Discord held up a finger.

Rainbow peeked over her shoulder at the stallion. Batting her eyes with a light giggle on her breath. Rainbow Dash hastily closed the gap between Zephyr and herself.

"Like, whatcha doing?" Zephyr's calm composure was completely lost.

But enough of them, Discord pulled a cup from the air and held it to his ear. Aiming at Rarity's group, Discord was able to overhear the situation developing.

"Please, Rarity," Sunburst stumbled backward on his haunches. "I can't see at all. I have hyperopia."

"It will only be for a little while, Sunburst," Rarity's reassurance received little acknowledgment. "I can't see your facial structure behind frames. You'll get them back after the show, I promise."

"After the show?" Starlight stepped up placing herself between Rarity and her work. "Rarity, he won't be able to see to walk the runway."

Rarity rolled her eyes and snorted with frustration.

"You can't wear glasses on a stage with lights, honestly." She was losing control, how delightful. "The lenses would reflect all that light back into the audience blinding some of them. Just stay focused on the stage in front of you and-"

"That's the problem, Rarity," Starlight was so persistent when she wanted to be. "He's farsighted. He can't see the stage."

"What?" Rarity sounded rather distraught. It was clear now that she'd used chaos to move his glasses instead of her usual magic. This would be interesting. "Very well." Rarity attempted to use chaos magic again.

Rarity, still unaccustomed to the snapping, tried to bring back Sunburst's uncomplimentary eyewear. First she was able to give him a pair of oversized sunglasses. Next a pair of aviation goggles. Last attempt was a set of flute-shaped wine glasses on frames.

"Rarity, stop kidding around," Starlight frowned. "If you want us to help you, please give him back his glasses."

"I'm trying," Rarity snapped in several more pairs of ridiculous eye accessories before resigning to the fact she couldn't do it. "I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?" Starlight then tried her own magic to the result of nothing. "My magic doesn't work! Why doesn't my magic work?"

Rarity had a slightly panicked expression on her face. Discord wanted to find it amusing, but again that wasn't the directive of the day. This holiday to ponies was nothing more but another task to tick off their to-do lists. If a pony did all the right things they would have the most romantic day ever. Rarity chief among his 'friends' to fall for this trap. If things didn't happen the way pony society had told them they should, Rarity would be unable to count the day a success. In essence, her own beliefs about the day would reduce her to little more than a blubbering mass shoveling comfort foods every Hearts and Hooves Day till the end of her natural life.

Her pain expression now was only upsetting him which, wanting to believe himself above petty pony emotions, was unacceptable. He loved watching chaos play out its natural course, but today he'd have to guide things just a little.

"If it kills me," Discord snapped and a large countdown descended from the top of the stage. "You will enjoy an unconventional Hearts and Hooves Day."

The timer was set and the show was going to begin in five minutes much to the excitement of the audience. They clapped and whooped as they noted the numbers on the levitating board. All the noise drew Rarity's attention away from her ponies and to the countdown. Even at Discord's distance, he could see the displeasure on her face. No doubt she'd view this as unfair and accuse him of cheating, but things were as they had to be. If he allowed the chaos she'd begun to fully play out, it would only be a matter of time before she felt completely overwhelmed and out of control. Pity really.

As anticipated, Rarity turned her anger on the draconequus and came stomping across the stage.

"Discord!" She was turning a bright shade of I'm-Gonna-Kick-Your-Tail red. "You're cheating!"

Discord froze his models in time to preserve their reaction for the runway before turning to see his date crossing the stage toward him. Silly diva must have forgotten she was walking in plain sight of the audience and judges. Discord groaned as his audience-distracting double disappeared to leave the focus on Miss. Drama Queen herself. Watching her now, Discord almost noticed the hint of genuine hurt in her features, but that was probably just agitation from not finishing her designs.

A sudden spotlight froze Rarity in the middle of the stage. The audience grew oddly silent as the focus landed on the unicorn. Rarity must not have been aware of what she triggered. He should probably go stand out there with her, if for nothing else but to move the story along to a more interesting narrative.

"Ready-to-start?" Of course, she wasn't! Rarity wouldn't have risked scuffing her manicured hooves stomping over to him just to announce she was ready. As predicted, this pony was going to blame him for something, which considering nagging was how most Hearts and Hooves Day dates ended up, Discord was a little disappointed he'd only unwittingly fulfilled a pony tradition.

"I'd comment on your total disregard for following your _own_ rule of not cheating, but I suppose that would make you a bad influence on yourself since you haven't the decency to play fair!" She was livid and it was amusing. "You can't just change the time . . ."

Well, obviously he just had. He wouldn't expect her to understand the need for them to speed things up. Chaos was way above her understanding of magic.

"You promised me twenty minutes! How am I supposed to put together anything presentable in only seven!?"

Discord watched a bit of spit pop out of Rarity's mouth when she pronounced an 's.' It was due to the bright stage lights. All the 'S's came with a bit of spit, and he was going to have to hold back his smile. Rarity was a lady after all; she was spittin' mad!

"You said we would spend this holiday together and gave me the impression that I would at least have an opportunity to have a proper evening with a friend. Discord, I know you have serious issues comprehending the order of things, let alone functioning in any manner that makes sense, but cheating should still be beneath you! You tried to sabotage the judges, you're preventing me from using both your and my magic, and you're changing the time! How is this fair? Are you even listening to me?"

He was, kind of. Her rant was a good one. The audience seemed to really enjoy the argument even with it being completely one-sided. Discord watched the rise in the excitement of the crowd at every one of Rarity's high-pitched insults. Easily enthralled by a healthy dose of disharmony was that audience; Discord knew he had gathered a great crowd. He was losing his standing with one of the judges though.

Spike was glaring right at him.

Discord put his attention on Rarity.

"Maybe it is all my fault. And I don't blame anypony. But it's not fair that they get to have a happy ending, and it feels like everypony else does every year too. I don't want to have to fight for this! I deserve this. I want what I want; how insufferable that I end up with-"

My, my, did she have a lot to say.

Her eyes were a bit glossed. Discord wasn't an expert on pony emotions, but Rarity's forming tears were just an overdramatizing. Regardless of the fact that he hadn't actually done anything to try and cheat, she was viewing it that way and she was being hurt by it. Fluttershy had talked about this kind of stuff before; it was all very much over his attention span. He'd have to try though.

How had Fluttershy put it, "Everypony has their own feelings about things and sometimes it's hard for others to understand." Or maybe, "You don't always tell me exactly how you're feeling; other ponies keep their feelings to themselves too." Perhaps her most insightful word, "Please don't dip Angel in maple syrup." Fluttershy's wisdom always did shine through.

Discord couldn't figure out what hidden feeling Rarity was having, but he'd try to attend to Rarity's 'frustration' and try to 'understand' what it was she was really experiencing. Her constantly doubting his motives was getting old though. He knew Rarity had a slight obsession for perfection, but scrutinizing every oddity was sure to drive him more insane than she already considered him to be.

"It's like contentment eludes me, and everything upsets me. My fabrics aren't the only thing out of control, I am. I can even be considered a game to you-"

How Was She Still Talking?! She had taken a trip down redundancy lane and he was just being dragged didn't need to waste any more time listening to her: Rarity was rambling on about the perfect Hearts and Hooves Day fantasy as if reciting from an almanac of holidays. Nothing but the usual dribble that tumbled endlessly from ponies' mouths. Whether the topic was romance or nose picking, ponies all seemed to have the same notions on how things were to be done.

"Not even chaos incarnate would honestly want to be with me. I don't understand why you're still here, Discord, but please, I don't want to do this any-"

He was going to have to stop her there. Rarity was never going to get the point of her monologue and she was boring everyone with it. The audience seemed to be calming down to stare at Rarity. All of them looked pained by her sheer power to complain. It was only a matter of the time they didn't have until she'd descended into the dreaded 'Perfect Coltfriend' syndrome; never coming to the conclusion that such a stallion didn't exist.

"It's. Show. Time!" In a puff of smoke and the wave of a sudden magic wand, Discord began the show.

Rarity was blown back to her models, the draconequus' voice speaking from seemingly nowhere around them, "I'll send my models first to buy you a little time; tick-tock."

Discord was back with his two new-found lovers. With a push and a snap, they were out on the runway able to move again. The music of the auditorium was none other than the Wonderbolts entrance symphony. The audience cheered as the two began their march down to the judges' table.

"Zephyr Breeze and Rainbow Dash are wearing my new Unrequited Madness collection!" Discord explained his fashion choice to the judges. "Because convention would have it, Zephyr is sporting an uncomfortable tight flight suit modeled completely after the pony that has tormented his fantasies since he was in training pants."

"Hey!" Zephyr tried to call out to the draconequus only to have his dream-mare pull his face back toward her. "That's sensitive information."

Zephyr didn't look as comfortable as he had before when he was making advances on Miss. Dash. For her part, Rainbow continuously placed either a hoof on his shoulder or a wing around his middle. The stallion, if Discord hadn't known better, almost looked unhappy being the object of unwanted attention.

"Always dressing in style, Rainbow Dash complements her stallion's dis-enchantments by simply being herself! Well, in appearance anyway!"

The pegasi hadn't made it but halfway down the runway before Rainbow place a hard hoof on Zephyr and turned him to face her. She gazed deeply into his eyes as if searching for some hidden truth like the missing sock in a dyer. Her head tilted at just an angle that sipping cola through a straw would be easily done without having to lift the glass from the table. So concentrated was her focus that not even every spotlight in the building being turned on them blinding Zephyr to her further advance could distract her.

The sudden captivity of Zephyr's lips with her own was only outpaced by Rainbow's ability to scoop up the stallion and lift him into the air.

The audience cheered, all its fliers took to the air to get a better view. Discord laughed and decided to pop over to Rarity's side to see how things were coming with her models.

The designer was working tirelessly trying to gain some control over her wayward powers. Sunburst was dripping in what smelled like motor oil and still hadn't gotten his glasses back. Starlight was at least in a dress, but her mane was now a living entity reciting Old Equestrian poetry and Starlight seemed on the verge of pulling her own mane out. Both models were unhappy, Discord could clearly see, but it was Rarity's distress that was most eye-catching.

The poor unicorn was tied up in all her fabric, most of which had settled on a beautiful revolving roulette of bright colors. Discord particularly liked the ones with the moving patterns of fish swimming across them. What he didn't like was that Rarity was no longer holding a brave face. Make-up was running down her cheeks as she struggled on with the mess.

"Rarity?" Discord must have startled her a bit as Sunburst's head magically morphed into a pumpkin. "Rarity, calm down."

"Don't. Tell. Me. How. To. Feel!" Rarity hiccuped and several green ribbons spilled out of her mouth.

"I don't think I could even if I wanted to, Rarity." Discord assessed the magic and snapped Rarity out of her entanglement. The loose fabrics all looped around each other and formed a large cloth pair of glasses.

Much to Rarity's surprise, Discord unwrapped the fabric like a present to be left with Sunburst missing spectacles. The draconequus shimmied over to the gourd-headed pony and pulled the pumpkin off to reveal Sunburst's intact head.

"My Head!" Sunburst stomped for several moments until his glasses were put back in place. "Thank you! Thank you." He paused. "Why is everything green?"

"Don't blame me," Discord shrugged. "Something Rarity's doing. I guess green _is_ her color."

Discord then smoosh the pumpkin between his palms until all that was left was a whole pumpkin pie. Starlights' hair quit speaking and began sniffing the air. Discord waved the dessert in front of the mane until it jumped off the mare's head to beg for the snack.

"My Mane!" Starlight turned sheet white. Sunburst went to comfort her.

Discord promptly ignored the shrill whines of the mare and tossed the pie on stage. Starlight's mane barking like a seal twice before chasing after the dessert. On stage, the mane chowed down as the two pegasi from earlier continued on with their display. Much to even Discord's dismay, Zephyr was no longer looking disgusted by Rainbow's overt actions. Being cradled like a baby, Zephyr was lost in the ecstasy that was Rainbow's embrace. Sickening.

"Why couldn't I . . . how did you . . .?" Rarity brought her co-hosts attention back to herself.

"Master of chaos, remember?" Discord came beside Rarity and leaned down to her level. "You're trying way too hard to control chaos."

"It doesn't matter how hard I try..." Rarity gave a listless sigh as she blinked out a few more tears.

"You're being way too overdramatic," Discord could feel Rarity tense at his touch as he placed his hands on the unicorn's shoulders. "You can't always tell what this kind of magic will do," Discord attempted to massage her shoulders in the hopes of getting her to ease up a bit on the negative energy she was putting out. "It's nothing like your unicorn magic; you can't just _think_ about what you want, you have to consider what _chaos_ wants. I had hoped the Element of Generosity would have been better at this."

Rarity still hadn't relaxed. She probably didn't understand what he was saying, typical. Ponies had such linear magic, it was impossible to get them to appreciate just how delicate chaos could be.

Shaking from whatever emotion she was overwhelming herself with, Rarity was obviously still doing everything within her power to remain in some assimilation of control. Probably wasn't even listening to him.

"Look here," Discord completely fell to Rarity's level and brought her cheek to cheek with himself; there was no way she would miss what he was looking at.

He directed her attention to the stage where Limestone was now poking the two pegasi with a broom to get them off stage.

"Look at all that delightful chaos," Discord took Rarity's sudden sharp breathing to mean she was listening. "But it's not having the outcome I want. I wanted the two fighting. Instead of adding something big to this situation or creating something new, which is just an exhaust of chaos, I'm only going to change one li-ttle detail. In fact, why don't you give it a try?"

Discord reach around Rarity to lift her forehoof for the challenge.

"Just take out the love spell I put on Rainbow Dash."

A moment passed.

"Love. Spell?" Rarity's eye gave a slight twitch.

"This is chaos, not brain surgery; don't worry whether or not you can take it out 'properly,'" her hesitation could ruin the opportunity; timing was so important. "What are you waiting for!"

Discord glanced to Rarity to find her flushed bright red. He could only inwardly groan that she couldn't understand the most basic of chaos, which was a bit disappointing as Discord would have thought an artist would at least grasp that much.

Discord straightened up and prepared to fix the problem himself when Rarity's slightly shaken voice spoke up.

"You honestly, thought this might be _fun_ for me?" A slow but somehow dangerous smile crossed her lips.

Discord tilted his head as she sent her hate-filled gaze to the catastrophe on stage. He didn't wadge she was actually asking him a question. She did seem odd in that moment though. Thinking about something he had yet to figure out.

"I may not completely understand pony traditions, but I can figure out enough to know you'd want to have _fun_ on a -"

"It's just not fair!" Her eyebrows lowered. "Everypony gets what they want, but I don't. Look at them."

Not that Discord would admit he was ever under the power of any other creature, but somehow he found himself unable to not follow Rarity's instructions. Discord fixed his gaze on the two pegasi on stage, then the cheering audience, then a bald Starlight receiving a hug from Sunburst.

"All of them are so happy on Hearts and Hooves Day, even _you_!" Rarity pointed an accusing hoof in Discord's direction managing to lift him a foot from the ground without his permission. "You're having fun with all this. Even you got a perfect date on Hearts and Hooves Day!"

Rarity may not have noticed, or maybe she had, but much to Discord's surprise the room was changing and it wasn't his fault. As Rarity spoke, the lights on stage began to blow out showing sparks everywhere. The audience, gasping and trying to flee to the exits Discord had forgotten to add, were quickly being snatched up by randomly appearing bits of fabric. They were all being forced back into their seats. The judges fared no better. Each was just as stuck.

"The mayor couldn't just let me organize the dance."

Upon Rarity's mention of the mayor, the mare appeared encased in a large mannequin. Based on the mayor's expression, Discord could gauge she didn't understand what was happening.

"The Cakes couldn't follow basic instructions!"

Suddenly, hanging in separate glass bulbs from the stage lights, the members of the Cake family dangled with frightened expressions on their faces and coats covered in sequins. The twins luckily were trapped in a bulb together giving them a sibling to hold onto as they cried.

"And I would have appreciated my friends having given me just an ounce of thought today!"

On stage, Fluttershy and the other three elements appeared over top of Rainbow Dash. They all fell into an uncomfortable heap before being encased each in lengths of measuring tape. Despite their protests and struggles, they seemed unable to untangle themselves.

"Rarity," Discord wanted to reach out to the crazed mare, but somehow she was using his own magic to hold him. "You need to calm down!"

"Don't. Tell. Me. How! To! Feel!" Rarity stomped a hoof.

The ceiling ripped away from the building filling the auditorium with a cold wind that shouldn't have been part of the forecast for the day. Discord looked up into a night's sky. From the looks of it, Rarity hadn't just brought more ponies into the dimension, she had expanded it. All of Ponyville, maybe all of Equestria. Rarity was pulling the whole of her world into the magic sphere Discord could have sworn was only as large as the Carousel Boutique.

"No, seriously, Rarity," Discord felt an unfamiliar aura engulf him as Rarity turn her full attention to him. "I think it's time I take my magic back now."

It was Discord's turn to be surprised by laughter. Rarity didn't seem fazed by him one bit. When her fit ended, Rarity smirked. Discord wasn't certain he liked that.

"You cheated." Rarity informed beginning to pace. "That means you forfeit and have so graciously handed the victory over to me. I'm going to have the perfect Hearts and Hooves Day ever! No extravagance expended."

"Oh, I see," Discord had to admit it was clever on her part. "You have chaos magic, I explained how to use it, so now you're going to take this opportunity to force us all to live out your silly, little fantasy. Haha, that's cute, but you forget; I'm the master of chaos here."

Discord may not have been able to get out of her magical grip, but snapping was within his power. So he snapped. . . he snapped . . . okay, third time's the charm, snap!

"Not in my silly, little fantasy you're not." Rarity, abandoning the snapping for a simple stomp of the hoof, dressed Discord in a horrid shade of matching-her-outfit blue.

"No! No!" Discord screamed trying in vain to tear the suit from his form.

"Yes! We are wearing coordinated outfits!" Rarity beamed.

Discord was released from her magic and dropped to his knees. Hope was most certainly lost as chaos was going to be tortured into producing the whims of an unoriginal, conceptualized holiday. This was indeed The. Worst. Possible. Thing!

There was only one thing Discord could think left to do. So important was doing this that he couldn't risk Rarity stopping him halfway through. He needed to be quick. Once she saw what he did, there was no telling how much longer they'd have left, and he couldn't live without having said his peace.

He scrambled to his feet and darted to the tangled group of elements still trying to get their bearings.

"Twilight!" The mare stood wrapped before him. "Move." Discord knocked her figure over so that he could make clear eye contact with Applejack. "This is _your_ fault!"

Okay, now he could deal with whatever happened next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember the fun I had writing this chapter. Discord is tons of fun to write for. I find Discord easy to write for believe it or not. Rarity was the greater challenge which is why I base most of the story on her pov. I wanted to sharpen my writing skills. This chapter's pov switch was pretty much for fun and to provide perspective into Discord's motives. According to old notes, I wrote this chapter twice. Rarity's version of this chapter must exist somewhere in my mess I call a writing journal. I have no mental focus to try and find it though. I was also still working that job I absolutely hated! 
> 
> And the show was moving into later seasons by the time I got around to this chapter and I just started including other characters. That bit with Applejack at the end, I laugh every time I think about it. What if I told you I wrote this whole story just for that joke? You shouldn't believe me 'cause that'd be a lie, but I'm super happy that line is part of my life!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I wrote this chapter to a remix of the "Waltz of the Flowers" by Tchaikovsky. Classical Hip Hop if you want to have background music while reading.

It all happened in the blink of an eye. Rarity, no longer paying heed to Discord's whining, stomped a hoof and let her fantasies flood out. She wanted an air of mystery to still enchant her evening - and she would make sure it was evening – so Rarity closed her eyes and allowed the world to change around her guided only by her sense of desire.

"The Hearts and Hooves Day to top them all," Rarity whispered to herself as she felt the magic morph the space. When she opened her eyes, it all was as it should be.

Elegance drifted from the stage riding the backs of perfectly harmonious notes from a live orchestra. It was the rhythm of a waltz that romanced the ballroom and echoed from the high ceilings. Various couples twirled around the dance floor with such form while more still poured in from a dandified staircase. A grand display of a clearly regal presentation.

Candle-lit chandeliers covered in gems dotted the ballroom in light of such luxuriance, but the sight was still gentle on the eyes. Several attendances flitted around the hall providing only the finest hors d'oeuvres which, dinner still being an hour or so away if Rarity's whims were being served, was a necessity for the guests' comfort.

Rarity found herself staring at the sight from the top of the grand staircase leading down to all the splendor of Hearts and Hooves Day. It hadn't matched her original color scheme for the Couples' Prance, but the brilliance of the ballroom was more than she could have hoped for.

Rarity gave an excited gasp before trotting down to the main floor. The ornate outfits, the graceful dancing, the posh laughter, and quaint pleasantries! It was everything Rarity knew this night could be about. Every pony so content at this moment. Rarity allowed herself a quick twirl in time with the music before pressing forward to the center of the dance floor.

"These ponies are so beautiful," Rarity smiled broadly at the way each pony honored the traditional steps of such a romantic dance.

Rarity took another deep breath just as Trotkovsky's "Waltz of the Blossoms" began to be played by the musicians.

"Oh, I love this song, if only . . ." Rarity glanced around.

If chaos magic was able to conjure all this, Rarity didn't believe it too much to wish it would know the proper time to introduce 'prince charming' into the scenario. This was her idea of a perfect Hearts and Hooves Day date after all. The setting right, the music suitable, the mood set to anticipation. This was the moment she was going to make eye contact and begin, even if a dream only, the romantic evening she so deserved.

Rarity waited a moment more, but the couples danced on around her without sight of the Master of Procrastination making his entrance.

"Of course Discord could still manage to ruin this," Rarity grumbled tapping her hoof impatiently. "He better not make me miss dancing to this song!"

It was then a couple accidentally bumped into Rarity. They gave her a glare to which she responded with a quick apology.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean . . ." Rarity then noticed who the couple were. "Rainbow Dash? Zephyr Breeze?"

"Pardon you," Zephyr was no longer scruffy or rainbow clad, he was in a proper suit behaving like a real gentlecolt; dark period suit with slicked-back mane and interestingly matching eye patch. "Have you no manners as to stand so idle in the midst of our wedding night."

"Wedding night?" Rarity was taken back. "But, but, but- how, you two don't belong together! You can't be married!"

"Are you suggesting our marriage to be improper?" Zephyr scrunched up his muzzle as if just served spoiled food.

"Oh, no, well," Rarity stumbled over her words a bit. "There's no way you would get married; you're under a love spell. This must be Discord playing tricks."

The couple looked at each other confused before Zephyr turned his full attention to the unicorn.

"Our love, I assure you, is no trick. Are you of sane mind?"

"This is distressing me," Rainbow held a hoof to her forehead giving Rarity a better view of the wedding gown she was dressed in. "My love, is she one of _your_ invites?" Rainbow questioned her apparent husband.

"I should certainly say not," Zephyr squinted as he looked Rarity over. "May I ask who invited you?"

Rarity didn't have time to answer before Rainbow waved a wing in the air. Quickly another pony joined the group.

"Pinkie Pie?" Rarity was surprised again to see such a familiar face so out of place. Pinkie was still dressed formally, but nothing in comparison to the other guests in attendance; clearly working attire from an older age.

"Lady Rainbow, how may I be of any assistance?" Even Pinkie's manner of talking seemed strange as the pink pony lowered her head to the couple.

"I would have gathered that Applejack's staff's competence was greater than to allow such an insult," Rainbow pointed at Rarity. "But I suppose this is the best one could expect from an earth pony?"

"A thousand apologies, your ladyship," Pinkie turned to Rarity with little more than a fringed smile. "I'll see to it personally."

Rarity was forcibly nudged from the dance floor. A rather undignified act in concordance to what she had specified to be a perfect Hearts and Hooves Day.

"Not so rough, Pinkie!" Rarity protested gain a bit of negative attention from onlookers.

Once the two were back at the bottom of the stairs, Rarity was given an uncharacteristic glower from the usually happy mare. But just as suddenly as the mood had soured, Pinkie lightened it again with a giggle.

"If you have any future intents to sneak into a party, may I recommend you do so without such a presentation." She laughed again. "Mind not Lady Rainbow's insults, she is but a love blind mare in the arms of he who has stolen her heart. I'd take not personal anything but her love for him; as tactless as it may be." Pinkie grunted before returning to a pleasant grin.

"First off, gross," Rarity took a better look around the ballroom. "Second, Rainbow Dash wouldn't talk to you like that, and you wouldn't allow it, I'm sure. Why are you acting like this, Pinkie?"

"Pinkie?" Pinkie tilted her head in confusion. "Are you calling me that?"

"Yes, it's your name."

"My name is Pinkamena." She smiled and followed Rarity's gaze for a moment.

"Well, yes that is your name I suppose, but your nickname; we've always called you Pinkie." Rarity felt her nerves beginning to tighten again.

"Nick? I know no pony by the name Nick. Do you find yourself confused on this matter perhaps?"

"Pinkie, this isn't funny." Rarity groaned.

"I wasn't aware I was trying to be," Pinkie gained Rarity's full attention. "Dear lady, perhaps you feel ill; please let me take you out of such ruckus to rest a moment. There exists a quiet lounge for just such an occasion of needed rest."

Pinkie tried to guide Rarity up the steps, but the unicorn stepped around her and stood firm.

"No, I demand an explanation," Rarity gestured to the space behind her. "I never asked for a wedding in the Couples' Prance? I'm not sure how the magic backfired like this. This isn't what I wanted."

"Backfired?" Pinkie's eyes seemed to drift away from Rarity for a moment, but the unicorn could clearly see she was making eye contact with another pony elsewhere in the room. Based on the expression on Pinkie's face, whoever she was looking to wasn't pleased with her, and Pinkie didn't seem too thrilled to see them either. "You mean you used your unicorn magic to sneak in?"

"Not exactly," Rarity continued much to the pink mare's obvious discomfort. "Isn't this dance the Ponyville Couples' Prance for Hearts and Hooves Day?"

"This affair is the wedding reception of Lieutenant Zephyr and Rainbow Breeze. A closed event presented by the new princess, Twilight Sparkle. Her gracious invitation is to demonstrate that all pony tribes can indeed live in peace and that she will honor all ponies for who they are; an event to commemorate the two-month anniversary of the founding of Equestria. How could you not know that?"

"Hearts and Hooves Day isn't to celebrate the founding of Equestria?"

"Hoofy-heart day?" Pinkie frowned her gaze drifting back to whoever she'd made eye contact with before. "You speak quite the fascinating riddle, but this wedding is the first royal wedding in our new nation's history. Tensions are already high and an unruly party guest is certainly not a favorable sight. Especially a unicorn, considering."

Rarity then felt a hoof come down hard on her shoulder. Rarity was surprised to see Applejack now standing beside her. Rarity gave a sheepish grin, but Applejack didn't seem amused.

"I think ya outta get going." At least Applejack still sounded like herself, but there was a very real threat to her manner of speaking.

"I believe this lovely unicorn merely needs a rest," Pinkie beamed to the supposed apple farmer. "I'll see to her-"

"You'll see to it that the reception carries on as planned." Applejack's leer was enough to drive Pinkie away though she continued to watch at a slight distance.

"Applejack!" Rarity was appalled by the behavior of her friends. "This rough attitude everypony seems so fond of is _completely_ uncalled for. Both you and Rainbow Dash should be ashamed of yourselves. I know you're all under a spell, but I never anticipated such barbarics. . ."

"I don't understand what you're muttering on about."

Rarity concluded something must have gone wrong with her magic. She wanted to live out the perfect Hearts and Hooves Day, not mess up her friends' minds. Clearly, she didn't fully "appreciate" what chaos wanted. She'd make sure to include a few exploding pineapples or something with her next attempt.

"Well, this isn't a real problem, not for chaos magic." Rarity confidently stomped a hoof expecting something chaotic to happen. Nothing did. Rarity stomped again before lifting her hoof and trying the snapping trick again.

It appeared chaos had left her just as much as her date had.

"Chaos magic?" the pressure of Applejack's hoof became almost unbearable and Rarity couldn't stop herself from crying out a bit in pain. "You practice some kind of dark magic?" That almost sounded like a threat more than a question.

Rarity was then completely removed from the dance, and with no amount of grace. Applejack forced her up the stairs and all but bucked her out of the awaiting front doors.

"I won't let some rebellious _unicorn_ ruin harmony in our new nation." Applejack spat from the door luckily missing Rarity's dress.

"So vulgarer! How dare you speak to me like that!" Rarity was forced to run when Applejack suddenly mocked charged at her.

The earth pony never did fully pursue, but Rarity was too scared to stop to find out if Applejack would come out after her.

Rarity, not fully able to access her surrounding, ran from what must have been a private estate with surprisingly large gardens. The gown Discord had given her snagged on several bushes as Rarity fled the grounds. Once safely off the property, Rarity sent a hurt glance back at the mansion she was thrown from. The large windows all had curtains closed so she couldn't even see the ponies dancing and enjoying their romantic evening. Rarity then looked to the dirty cobblestone street she was on.

"This isn't Ponyville," Rarity tried to comprehend what might have been happening. "I never imagine some dirty, lonely mansion in the middle of, whatever hamlet this is."

The town she was in wasn't familiar at all. It was almost as if she had stepped back in time. The design of the buildings was so far removed from modern architecture that - even with her limited knowledge in construction- Rarity could tell this couldn't possibly be taking place in any town with Ponyville's building codes.

"Where am I?" Rarity asked the cold night air as she took a seat to collect herself. She wanted to cry, but something about the unfamiliar surroundings made her too frightened to make a sound. "If I can't use chaos magic I can't get home, and if I can't get home I can change my friends back to normal."

Rarity felt a sob building up in her throat. She glanced up and down the street finding it empty of ponies. Oddly enough, it was empty of street lamps, candles in windows, market carts, and any other signs of daily life. The whole of the neighborhood was arranged as if no pony dare make it appear life happened there. This struck Rarity as odd.

"One of the largest parties is happening just inside this mansion, but there's not even a single carriage on the street?"

If this whole town had been invited, it would explain the lack of lights in every building, but based on the snobbish attitude of the few 'guests' she had encountered, Rarity didn't imagine everypony in the town was invited to the party.

"I didn't imagine an empty town. And where is the rest of the ponies from back home? I included everypony in my perfect Hearts and Hooves Day."

Maybe the ponies of this dream didn't like being out at night. Or maybe they all really had gone to the party and weren't planning to leave.

"Is that why they have a resting lounge? No guest is planning to leave?"

That wasn't characteristic of a Hearts and Hooves Day dance or a wedding for that matter. It made little sense to not go home at the end of a party. Like Applejack had mentioned back in her right mind, there was nothing more romantic than being under the stars. There should have been scores of ponies outside on this holiday.

Across the street, there was a low noise from between two houses.

Rarity's ears perked as she turned in the direction of the sound. It had the distinction of a voice, but Rarity saw no pony in the darkness. Even with the moonlight, Rarity found herself unable to see much in the ally of the houses. Out of a sense of hopefully misplaced fear, Rarity looked back to gauge just how far away the mansion was. It hadn't taken her much time to get away from the house, but now it looked an eternity away.

Rarity looked back to the ally. Much to her unwelcome surprise, something was there. Large enough to look into the second-story window of the stone home it was beside, the creature turned in Rarity's direction; hunched over and studying her from the darkness.

Rarity felt her breathing tighten and her hooves went numb. Even if she wanted to run, she couldn't. The creature's eyes caught the moonlight for only a moment, their color no longer a mystery to Rarity. Her mind racing with the information, Rarity knew who it was.

"Dis-Discord," her own voice hitched in her throat suddenly seeing Discord as a much more terrifying creature than she ever had before. "Discord, that is you, isn't it?"

"Ra-rity?" He was speaking very slowly holding out her name as if studying it familiarity in his mouth; a mixture of confusion and recognition. "You should," he paused; possibly toying around with the exact wording he wanted to share with her. "Get away from me; at least for now." He was speaking calmly but seriously.

With none of her other friends acting normal, Rarity wasn't going to question him. She couldn't pull her eyes away from his form though; the dead feeling in her limbs passing. Rarity inched her way back into the mansion's yard. Never moving her gaze from the glint in Discord's eyes, Rarity found her willingness to remove herself from his presence not entirely without regret.

As frightening as he was, his gaze offered some moderate comfort against an evening of confusion. He knew her. He knew what was going on. She wanted to ask him questions, she wanted to ask him to fix her mistake. But his rather direct request did not lend her to venture such inquiries at the moment.

Midway to the house, Discord must have moved further back into the ally, Rarity could no longer make eye contact with him. She was slightly disheartened, but in the same breath relieved.

"This all has to be his fault," Rarity snorted. "Stop playing games with me, Discord." Rarity scolded the direction of the draconequus, but he didn't answer her.

Rarity was left to the darkness and an overwhelming fear of what to do next.

"This is the worst thing that could have happened," Rarity began pacing in a circle. "Discord's probably forcing me to live out this nightmare as payback." Rarity stomped her hooves repeatedly. "Work, stupid chaos, Work!"

Rarity's flagrant display was certainly unladylike. Her stomping loosened the tiara in her mane pulling it into a tangle of hair. Her whole continence was disheveled and it left her panting and perspiring. Rarity's face was blotched with anger as she continued stomping and insulting the outcomes of her own disorder.

"Um, please pardon me."

A timid voice snapped Rarity from her fit. She looked over to see Fluttershy. The pegasus was aptly dressed for the wedding reception: a simple chiffon style formal evening dress with a delicate flower crown adorning her head; its only affront was being colored rose taupe. Rarity found Fluttershy's all-around gentle demeanor a pleasing one after all the abrasion of the evening.

"I do not mean to interrupt your, um, well . . ."

"Nevermind what I was doing, darling," Rarity swiped a hoof through her mane to try and at least attempt to be presentable. "Shouldn't you be inside with the others?"

Rarity watched Fluttershy visibly shutter.

"We should both go back into the safety of the manor," Fluttershy's eyes were darting around the landscape. "Please, let us make haste back inside."

It was a wonder the shivering pegasus was still able to speak. Rarity glanced back toward the street one more time before addressing her new companion.

"Even if I wanted to go back in, I'm afraid I'm not wanted at this party." Rarity watched the pegasus begin inching back toward the side of the house. "I was rudely kicked out."

"I saw you get thrown out; your display inside was hard to miss," Fluttershy suddenly flew around Rarity and began pushing her toward the mansion. "I can let you in through the servants' door, but we mustn't stay out here."

Rarity had had quite enough of being pony-handled for one day. She waved Fluttershy off before walking on her own merit to the house. With one last look at the outside, Rarity entered a warm kitchen. It was lacking in all modern conventions, but it had a rustic charm about it all the same. Having the light from the stoves certainly helped in lifting Rarity's mood, if nothing else. It was clear now Rarity was going to have to follow the course of this silly game Discord was so eager to play. She needed to figure out the rules if there was no other way out.

"Fluttershy, do you think you could explain a few things to me?" Rarity crossed over to a table covered in several warm cakes and breads.

"I find such a need for clarity to be on my part," Fluttershy bolted the door before retrieving a rag from what Rarity imagined to be a sink with a well pump attached. "How is it you know my name?"

"It's a, complicated story," Rarity flinched as the pegasus went about cleaning the dirt off of Rarity's hooves. "I seem to just know everypony's name." Light laughter to try and raise the mood and the pegasus' willingness to talk. "What's going on with this party?"

"Is it because you practice dark magic?" Fluttershy placed the rag aside and questioned on as if never hearing Rarity's concerns. "That you know our names, I mean. Are you the one bringing the dark spirit to Equestria?"

"Dark spirit?! I don't even know dark magic, let alone practice it."

One thing was for sure, everypony in this place had a very different understanding of reality than Rarity had.

"Fluttershy, please, it's important that I understand what's going on?" Rarity refrained from asking whether the shy pony remembered having been friends with her; Rarity gathered her friends weren't able to think outside of whatever spell they were under.

"This is the night of Lieutenant Zephyr's and Lady Rainbow's wedding. Have you not heard?"

"I wish I hadn't," Rarity sighed. "Could you tell me what year you think it is?"

"My, it is but the first year of our new nation," Fluttershy seemed contemplative as she mulled over her answer. "I suppose the year is one."

"One? One is not a year."

"I'm sorry, but to assume anything other would be to say I didn't fully support the founding of our new nation, and I do. I do greatly."

"I don't doubt it," Rarity sighed heavily. "So you honestly believe this is the first year of Equestria?"

"Um, yes."

"Great!" Rarity fought back the urge to scream. "I can't believe Discord is doing this to me. He's just so cruel."

"Discord?" Fluttershy's ears dropped. "Like fighting? Are you saying the Windigos are coming back!?" Fluttershy's calm demeanor evaporated as the pegasus began flapping her wings in fear.

Before another inquiry could be made, a door on the far side of the room flew open. Rarity was surprised to see Mr. Cake rush in with a platter on his back. All the food had been cleared from it supposedly by the guests of the party. With the door open, Rarity was able to hear the music and laughter of the event she had just too recently been tossed from. Obviously, the Cakes' must have been catering. Carrot Cakes attire was similar to Pinkie's and it stood to reason they were of the same occupation.

Stumbling behind Mr. Cake, covered in some liquid or other, was Plaid Stripes. She was laughing and apparently unaware of the serious mood Carrot was in.

"Whatever possessed Chancellor Puddinghead to hire you as staff for this event . . ." Carrot was scolding Plaid when he came to the table. He stared at Rarity a moment before asking, "What tragedy befell you?"

"Dating." Rarity answered flatly only to receive a raised eyebrow from the stallion.

"She was forced out by Applejack, I just couldn't let anypony brave the dark alone with such an event as this happening." Fluttershy was still in a panic. "But I think she saw a Windigo outside!"

The two caterers gasped before passing a glance between each other. Rarity knew she needed to quickly de-escalate their fears.

"There are no Windigoes!" Rarity was sure to sound as stern as she could, boldly posing to assert her assurance on the topic. "And I've seen no dark magic. Thank you, Fluttershy, for bringing me in."

"Dark magic?" Plaid grinned before turning to Fluttershy. "Dearest Fluttershy, I'm happy I know a pegasus like you."

"If only all ponies could be as compassionate and . . . helpful, as you," Carrot added before looking to a small window high in a corner of the kitchen. "Such misfortune to any creature on the streets tonight. Dark magic and all."

The information rolled around Rarity's head a moment, but no clear conclusion struck her. She decided to press on with her questions, even with the 'new' faces present.

"Why? What's outside at night that has everypony so scared?" Rarity received only worried glances from the pegasus and realized the story was not one they could recant without great hysteria. "Forget I asked. You mentioned Chancellor Puddinghead? He was one of the founders of Equestria, no? Why do you mention him?"

"This is his estate, dear lady, um." Fluttershy smiled. "What do you go by?"

"Rarity."

"Well, actually," Plaid corrected stepping up to get a better look at the unicorn. "This is just one of his many trophy mansions. He likes to empress."

"Much to his staff's great displeasure," Carrot placed the platter onto the table to load it with more treats. "And all this chattering will do us little good, Miss. Stripes, if we fail to get these back out before Applejack notices our absence."

"I do hate weddings," Plaid complained helping to gather the sweets as she spoke on with Rarity. "Princess Platinum suggested that this wedding take place as a celebration all tribes could engage in. She provided the funds,"

"Chancellor the space," Carrot continued.

"And Commander Hurricane the protection," Fluttershy sighed heavily. "For what little good it did us all. The Windigos will-"

"Hush," Carrot commanded. "We are not to talk of that. Let us back to our work, Stripes." With that, the two earth ponies exited back to the party; Plaid Stripe watching Rarity with a smile as she went.

"Are you, really concerned with something from outside?" Rarity laughed nervously wondering if there was a more obvious answer to her questions than she cared to analyze.

"That earth pony is correct." Fluttershy went to the door to peek out back into the main ballroom. "We aren't to speak of such things, but we are to focus on harmony. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I don't think it wise of me not to at this point." Rarity came over to where Fluttershy stood.

Looking out to the party, the ponies all seemed to be enjoying themselves, completely unaware of whatever it was they weren't supposed to talk about outside.

"I think I can sneak you up to the resting lounge if you so wish." Fluttershy smiled back to Rarity.

"I'd much rather have answers." Rarity kept her thoughts under her breath and allowed Fluttershy to lead the way.

The ballroom was entering into a lull in the waltz, all ponies facing the stage. Both sneaking ponies found it easy to elude the crowds simply by trotting along the walls. The large staircase did lead to the main doors, but to the right and left were hallways and was undoubtedly the intended destination of their escapade.

The ponies of the ballroom were all stomping in applause as none other than Princess Twilight took presence on the stage. The hall roared with their approval, and Rarity found her pace slowing. Twilight, of course, looked amazing. Royal, perfect, graceful. The alicorn was the embodiment of the hope those ponies held for their new Equestria and it showed.

Fluttershy must have noticed Rarity's slacking for she suddenly came to stand in the unicorn's view.

"We must keep moving before we are seen."

Rarity was disappointed but understood. Still, it would have been nice to hear what the princess might say. Perhaps it would provide the needed information to end this horrid game.

The two mares made it to the stairs only to see Applejack paroling the bottom steps, watching the spectator from behind it appeared. Fluttershy motioned for Rarity to press into the crowds before they were seen.

As Twilight rambled on a congratulatory speech, Fluttershy began to quietly panic to Rarity.

"Oh, if she sees you she will be so displeased." Fluttershy was near hyperventilating. "She'll throw you out to the dark spirits and then get mad at me and then tell Lady Rainbow how I ruined her wedding. Rainbow will hate me and our already rocky friendship will be no more. I don't want to be hated by everypony."

"Calm down," Rarity tried to hush her only to receive side glares from ponies nearby. Rarity further hushed her own voice. "It's bad enough I look like a train wreck, having you panic beside me is sure to gain Applejack's attention. Please, take a deep breath."

Fluttershy practiced a few self-soothing breaths, leaving Rarity free to scan the environment.

"There has to be some way to get Applejack to default on her position."

Rarity placed a hoof on her chin as her eyes drifted toward the ceiling.

"The chandeliers," Rarity mused. "They're all candles, no?"

"Yes," Fluttershy followed the unicorn's gaze. "It took a whole team of pegasi to light them."

"Splendid." Rarity tilted her horn in the direction of the chandeliers. "Please, let my magic work." With a gentle wind spell, the entire ballroom plummeted into a dim light. It was immediate pandemonium.

Without the lights, several attendees began to panic and race around bumping into any other pony who did likewise. There were shouts for order as several pegasi flew up to try and relight the candles.

Rarity snorted at the disarray as several ponies stepped on the edge of her already worn gown. Fluttershy was shirking a muffled and refined cry for help. Her panic was an unexpected one as Rarity needed Fluttershy to guide her out of the ballroom.

"Not the darkness!" Fluttershy suddenly wrapped her forelimbs around Rarity's neck. She was so close Rarity could easily make out the fear in her eye with the limited light. "The dark spirit might find its way in!"

"I'm fairly certain that 'dark spirit' is plenty happy with this amount of chaos already," Rarity pried the shaking pegasus off. "Now hurry, Applejack is far too distracted to stop us."

The two mares hastened up the stairs and down the left hallway just in time for the alicorn in the main ballroom to flood the space with the light of her horn.

"It's the next door on your right," Fluttershy huffed as she sped down the hallway, but Rarity was not so quick to follow.

She was out of the main area, no pony would see her. Rarity crept back to the main area, peeking around the hall corner to see the new princess calming her subjects.

"Dear Equestrians," Twilight sounded all the authoritarian these ponies needed her to be. "Fear not, it was but a draft of wind; the rough beating of a wing and no more."

The ponies all silenced at her words, though several pegasus guards were suddenly patrolling the air around the candles.

"We can not allow our past demons to rule our future," Twilight went on to say. "Our harmony is stronger than anything, you must understand. That which lays in wait in the darkness has no power here and in our friendships. We must continue in the joyous celebration of our joining together; this is what protects us. Think no more on matters past."

Twilight continued on with how lovely it was to be the ruler of many different and uniquely talented ponies, but Rarity was no longer listening. Moving throughout the crowd was Applejack. Rarity hated admitting she was scared of her good friend, but the situation dictated such resentment. Rarity turned to leave down the hallway only to come nose to nose with another pony.

"I thought it a safe bet you would try sneaking in again." It was Pinkie with a jeering smirk on her face. "Applejack has such a temper when under such stressful times as these."

"Pinkie, please," Rarity didn't want to spend the night on the street, but she was even more worried that the current company might seek an even worse punishment for a 'dark' magic-user.

"Groveling!" Pinkie began an excited bounce giving Rarity mixed signals. "Why not just turn me into a frog?"

Rarity stammered a bit, unsure how to answer. Oddly enough, Pinkie answered for her.

"Because the dark arts down work so well against themselves," Pinkie quit her jumping to hold a more serious discomposure. "Do they?"

Rarity tilted her head in confusion and tried to take a step back.

"Hold steady _unicorn_."

Rarity turned to find Plaid Stripes and Mr. Cake coming up behind her. Rarity was trapped and suddenly very scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Hurrican Irma was a thing on its way while writing this chapter . . . yeah. So 2017 for this chapter. I can remember watching transformers exploding outside as our power went out, screaming as we watched a tree fall on the neighbor's house via a flashlight out the front window. The neighbor was fine, by the way. Talk about chaotic, but hey I finished this story in 2020 so I guess chapter 5 me should just buckle up for the insanity she has no idea is coming her way.


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